Must. Do. More. With. My. Kid.

A developmental therapist and a speech therapist came to our house yesterday for Teddy's evaluation. They were great - they played with him first to get him comfortable and brought toys to watch how he plays. At the end of the appointment, they verbally told us their findings and their recommendations.

1. Teddy needs speech therapy. (surprise!!!) After all the paperwork is dealt with, speech therapy can start right away - once a week. The therapist will come to our house for an hour every week - which is great so I don't have to cart him somewhere.

2. Teddy needs a hearing evaluation at the hospital. Our local hospital called me today to schedule the appointment. He goes next week for an hour for a 4 part test. I have to bring all his comfort items - sippy cup/bottle, blanket, toys that will soothe him. Apparently for 2 of the tests they will put something in his ears and I am afraid he will get freaked out and cry and try to take them out.

3. He doesn't need developmental therapy. The therapist says that she would place him to be around 18 months (oops) even though he's almost 21 months!

4. The evaluation made Mark and I feel really guilty that we don't spend enough time with Teddy. He doesn't know all the sounds animals make, doesn't imitate us, doesn't point at things and say what they are. They asked me about toddler classes, library story times, and I told them Teddy's class was canceled and I am going to register him for another one. I also made it sound like I take him to story time at the library all the time even though I've only taken him once!!!! They asked how he is at the park and the park equipment, etc. It was that kind of situation. I get the picture. I made all the time in the world for Ricky - at this age I had him in 3 classes/play group per week. I now know that taking him to the Children's Museum and the Exploritorium are important rather than a treat. While Ricky is at school, I need to treat Teddy like he's my first child - my one and only.

5. A big discovery was that they told him that he's very limber - since he likes to sit in a W shape on the floor and the recommended gymnastics classes.

6. The speech therapist suggested giving him straws to drink from, and to drink lemonade before meals because if he is very limber, he must be too limber in the mouth area as well and the sour taste may wake him mouth muscles up.

So I've been making it a point to talk to him as much as I can and they suggested using sign language. He doesn't seem to have any disabilities, so that's good. I guess we'll have to wait to see how much he can hear and go from there.

5 is Too Old for the Women's Bathroom? Really???

On Ricky's kindergarten field trip to the zoo this past Friday, I was in charge of 4 boys (including Ricky). Call me crazy, call me over-protective, but I always took them to the women's bathroom with me - so I could monitor them - and make sure the stalls they were entering didn't have some freaky, sick sexual predator waiting for them inside. The boys seemed fine with this.

At the end of our field trip, I ran into another mom chaperone who was in charge of 3 boys. We decided to stop by the bathroom on our way to the bus and she started leading the boys in the direction of the men's room. I asked her if she was going to the Men's - as I have been taking them to the Women's and she flat-out said that she thinks they are "way too old to be going to the Women's bathroom."

So we opened the door and there was a man in there - another chaperone - but we didn't know if there were any other adult males in there. The other mom sent the boys she was in charge of but I kept mine until I knew the bathroom was completely empty except for our boys.

So my question is, how old is too old to be going to the Women's bathroom? I clearly disagree with the other mom. When I go shopping with Ricky, I take him to the Women's, because I am not going to let him go into the Men's bathroom - alone- only to have some man molest him.

I was in charge of 3 other mom's babies - and I wanted to make sure that no harm was going to come their way. I can't believe this other mom would just send the boys in the Men's bathroom without checking it first even. But then again, like my ex-friend said, I *am* overprotective.

Birthday Spent the Apple Way

It's my birthday today. I dragged Mark and the boys to an apple orchard in Wisconsin. We went apple-picking - which the boys loved. Teddy squealed every time he pulled an apple off because the branch would bounce back. It was hilarious. This orchard also had pig races, pony rides, hayrack rides, corn mazes, and a playground for Ricky and Teddy to enjoy.

The weather was nice and cool and totally perfect. Mark and I both got sunburned a bit - I didn't put sunscreen on anyone today because it was overcast this morning! Ricky is fine, and I think Teddy is too, but I will see in the morning. I should know better - I am vowing to wear it myself every day, and to keep it in my purse to put on the boys in case we end up outside for any reason.

My lump is still in my neck. I've been very good about not playing with it. I tried very hard to enjoy every minute of today just in case I don't make it to another birthday. In fact, I think I will try to stop and enjoy every day - not just on my birthday. You never know. Life is precious. Even if my lump ends up being nothing, I think it's a good reminder to enjoy every day. I want to savor all my moments with my boys.

Here to Stay - At Least for Now

I went to the doctor this morning and their unusual sense of urgency in seeing me made me a little nervous. I've always had to wait at least 45 minutes!! But I was really thankful because I brought Teddy with me (20 months) along with an arsenal of toys and a big Elmo pop up book to keep him busy. We didn't even have to wait. I gave my name and told the receptionist I had to use the bathroom and no sooner did I lock the door of the bathroom that they called my name.

The doctor felt my new friend and I told her that Mark and Ricky have been sick the past week. She checked the rest of my neck, and my armpits for more enlarged glands and there was nothing.

She told me that she wants me to stop playing with my friend - a habit I have to admit I have taken on since I found out it was there. She said that the more I play with it, the more irritated it will get and it may actually get bigger because of that. So she told me to feel it every other day in the shower. This is going to be tough for me. I'm the girl who plays with my hair while I talk on the phone, I'm fidgety. I'll have to constantly remind myself to not touch my darn neck!!!

My doctor then told me that she wants me to wait 4 WEEKS to see if my friend gets bigger or smaller. She said that bad things don't usually get smaller. She said that if my friend gets bigger, I need to call and they will recommend me to an ear, nose, and throat specialist. When I told my sister this, she asked why I'm not seeing the specialist now anyways. If it's the Big C, it could grow worse (or spread) in 4 weeks.

The doctor's demeanor was weird. She was overly chatty, talking fast and was kind of nervous. Not the calm that I was looking for. She said that she's seen glands that were as big as apples in people's necks in the 20 years she's been practicing, so mine doesn't really seem so bad. Well, if you think I'm okay, why are you beet red and perspiring while you're telling me I'm probably okay?? I'm going to tell myself she just got out of a spinning class before seeing me.

4 weeks of knowing that I could have the Big C or I could be okay.

4 weeks of trying not to play with my new friend on my neck.

4 weeks of wishing my latest guest would go back to wherever it came from so I can go on with my life!!!

An Unwanted New Friend

I went to our friends' house Saturday to attend a Dove Chocolate party. Mark was battling an ear infection so I went solo. I was chatting and enjoying my glass of wine and was fingering my necklace around my neck. This is probably one of those things I do when I'm talking. I felt a large bump on the right side of my neck. Suddenly, all the laughing and funny talk I was participating in wasn't funny anymore. Nothing was.

I just kept feeling my lump. My friend Kat is a massage therapist and she probably feels lots of people's lumps. I showed it to her and she pressed on it - and it hurt - and she could move it around. Maybe it's my imagination, but today it feels smaller than it did over the weekend.

So of course I just *had* to google it. And of course horrible things are popping up - including the Big C, so I just stopped. I have 2 little kids - I'm not allowed to be sick!!

I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow morning. Wish me luck!!

On the Road to Babble-On

Well, the lady from Early Intervention came by on Wednesday to meet with us about Teddy not talking. I want to thank The Captain's Wife, a blogger who brought early intervention to my attention. I was initally annoyed that our (very expensive) private insurance didn't cover speech therapy and she told me that states do have early intervention programs for age 0-3. I never would have thought about it - and if I did - Teddy would've lost the time.

Anyways, the woman came. We signed lots of papers and talked about Teddy and the way he communicates, plays, interacts, and his life. A speech therapist and a developmental therapist will come to our house to evaluate him within the next two weeks and based on the results, they will let us know how often he needs therapy. She was guessing it would be once a week.

The incredible part is that it would be one hour long session, once a week, in our home until the age of 3 - if that's how long he needs it. The cost would be around $30 - $60 a month - depending on our income. We haven't figured it all out yet because Mark is self-employed and makes great money some weeks, and lesser money some weeks. But there is a general ballpark. But usually therapy is about $80- $100 or more an hour and we'd be getting all this therapy for Teddy for $30 - $60 per month?? Incredible. I've paid tons in taxes throughout my life so it's all good.

On another note, can I just mention that Ricky starting full-day kindergarten and soccer is making me super busy - just those things alone??? I only have ONE kid in school right now and the soccer practices, games, birthday parties, field trips, fundraisers, blah, blah, blah.....gosh what will things be like when they're both in school? I really don't remember being this social when I was in grammar school. All our birthday parties were on the weekends...

Teddy's Moms and Tots class - that was supposed to start next week - got cancelled so now I have to find another one. Apparently, they couldn't find a teacher. I really need to get him involved in a social class. He needs to play with other kids his age now. Maybe that will help him talk more too.

Too Many Books But Who's Complaining

So I went a month or so with nothing to read and suddenly 5 books that I had on hold at the library all showed up for me at the exact same time! So now I am frantically reading what I can - a page here and there just so I finish! Three of them are due in a week! Eek!! Granted, I could probably get a pal at the library to erase my fines, but since many of these have holds on them, I don't want to be inconsiderate to the next reader who's waiting for their book.

These are the books I'm reading:

1. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

2. Mudbound by Hillary Jordan

3. The Writing on My Forehead by Nafisa Haji

4. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson

5. One Thousand White Women: the Journals of May Dodd by Jim Fergus

I started the Writing on my Forehead by I have to put that down because it's not due til the end of the month. I started Mockingjay and I will start Mudbound since they are due in a week. I'll start the Girl With the Dragon Tattoo when I finish one book - I don't want to get *too* crazy.

Meanwhile, we had an open house yesterday and our agent said that 5 groups of people came in to look, but nobody was interested. He is encouraging us to drop our price by $20K in order to get an offer that is $50K below our current asking price! This market sucks!

Ricky is also home today with a double ear infection. He's had fevers all weekend. We're wondering if Teddy has it too - he's been getting up in the middle of the night the last few nights - and I've found myself waking up in my rocker a few hours later with a sore neck! He hasn't had a fever, but I'll have to watch him.

It is so beautiful outside - a truly beautiful September day and I have to keep them inside. I'd rather it was raining! It's nice to have a really clean house though - aside from laundry, I don't feel guilty reading or relaxing because everything is done.

The Speech Coordinator for the State is coming on Wednesday morning to meet us and meet Teddy and to go over all the options for him. He will then we evaluated on another date at our home. Both meetings are free. It's so annoying that our expensive insurance doesn't cover speech therapy!! UGH!!!

Friday Musings

Well I met with Ricky's teacher yesterday after school and she is very aware of the situation. She said that she knows it won't make me feel better, but apparently the Big Bully Boy targets everyone in class, not just Ricky. She had more of the attitude of "they're 5 & 6 years old , what can you do, this is normal." She showed me a Bee-havioral chart in the shape of a bee hive that has everyone's name and if you are bad, your name gets put in the hive. What the hell does that mean?? Like this kid is really going to care?

Ricky's teacher said that the Big Bully's mom is aware of his behavior and he is a "hands-on" kid. Well he better keep his hands off of Ricky!!! I like this teacher, but the fact that she is soooo young, makes me skeptical that she can handle this situation the right way. In my school days (back in the 70s & 80s - cough cough), bullies were dealt with in a no-nonsense manner - none of this sissy crap. My teachers made sure they didn't give bullies extra attention or take away from the quality of the lessons. Not sure this is really happening in Ricky's class..... too gentle. Anyways, Mark and I have decided that if there is no improvement, there will be a meeting with the principal.

Meanwhile, I should be cleaning right now. I have to pick up Ricky in 2 hours and then we're meeting an old grammar school classmate at the park with her 2 boys. Her 2 boys are the exact same age as mine - she has a boy in kindergarten and a tot who is 3 months younger than Teddy. You can't get any more perfect for a playdate. She also had SIF and had 2 miscarriages like me so her second and third are quite the miracles. She threw in the towel (like me) and they both happened. I'm still getting to know her better - we weren't that close as kids, but we're starting a friendship now. We talked a lot at our class reunion earlier this year and had a playdate last week. I'm going to wait a while before I tell her what happened to me with my mean mommy friends. If I tell her now while she doesn't know me too well, she might believe that bullshit! It will be nice to have a decent mommy friend in the neighborhood. Her son goes to a different school - but also Catholic.

Gotta go fold mountains of laundry now!

Trying Not to be the Annoying Mom

Today I have a meeting with Ricky's teacher after school to discuss Ricky being bullied by the bigger boy I mentioned in my earlier post. I'll call him the Big Bully Boy. Ricky's teacher is very young, maybe 22 years old and graduated from this grammar school herself in 2002. She is very nice, and I like her, but I sympathize with her because she certainly has her hands full - of kids and the crazy parents. I will go easy on her, but I definitely want her to watch the Big Bully Boy and what he does to Ricky on a daily basis.

Ricky had a rough first week of kindergarten. I think transitioning to full days every day was a big change, as well as a new class of kids and a teacher. There were many new kids too. All his friends were also placed in the two other classes. Ricky used to love going to school and now he doesn't want to go, and he actually pretended to be sick last week. I later realized this was after the Big Bully fought with him over his gummies (when all I saw was a shredded piece of plastic - what used to be the sandwich bag). That must have freaked him out. Anyways, there is no way my son can learn when he's being verbally and physically harassed. My husband and I have also seen the Big Bully Boy come after Ricky at soccer practice - throwing him down, punching Ricky's soccer ball out of his arms, etc.

Meanwhile, I have left a voicemail for the coordinator who is supposed to visit our house and give Teddy a speech and language evaluation and I haven't received a call back. Funny, this is the 3rd voicemail I have left for business/personal purposes and nobody seems to ever want to call me back. What is wrong with people - I guess I have to call again!

Starting Fresh

Has it really been a month since I last blogged? Shame on me! Things are different in the Chipper Librarian household. This is what I've been up to (not that anyone cares):

1. Ricky just started Kindergarten. It's a Catholic school, so he had to get used to the uniform. He was a bit nervous about tucking in his shirt, so he spent the first week not drinking anything so he didn't have to pee - so he didn't have to tuck in his shirt!! I spent a lot of time telling him about kidney stones and dehydration. Hopefully this will pass!

There is a big kid in his class who got held back and is fond of picking on Ricky. For the first week, this kid was demanding that Ricky give him his gummies for snack time every day. I knew something was going on when I would find a torn piece of plastic (the remains of a ziplock sandwich bag) in his lunch bag. Last week things died down and he said it was okay. He just hides his gummies and eats them when the boy isn't looking. UGH!!!

On a lighter note, last week Ricky was grinning all day and night after school because he overheard all the girls in his class say that he was cute and was the smartest kid in class. Nothing better than a boost to the self esteem! When he's down, I'll remind him of this and it always cheers him up.

2. All the popular kids (the moms I don't hang out with anymore) all ended up in the same class. Hmmmm....I wonder how *that* happened. There are tons of kids/parents now at drop off and pick-up and I hardly ever cross paths with them so that's good. It is sad to think that I used to go on play dates with these women and their kids, and our social calendar was pretty active. Now, my phone is silent and I spend many days not talking to anyone and waiting for Mark to come home from work. I have to admit, it gets lonely at times. But I remind myself that it's better to be alone than with bad company! I don't need those petty bitches in my life!

3. I'm applying for Illinois' All Kids program for Teddy - for his speech therapy. It takes 40 days to be approved. Supposedly it will cover 100%.....it's better than nothing! All my days of over-annunciating are not having the results I've been looking for. All he says is "mamama" and "dadadada' but basically it's the same as last year. I can tell he understands us, but otherwise he is the same baby - just bigger, chubbier, and runs all over the place. No new communication. We are so very worried that it's more than just a delay. The pediatrician told me that this is genetic - and my husband and nephew both did not speak til age 3. My MIL and SIL have assured me many times not to worry.....so I'm trying hard not to.

4. Our house is still on the (crappy) market. One woman gave us a very crappy verbal offer and we almost accepted it but then she ended up pursuing some other house that was listed $90K lower than ours! Oh well....

I think those are the major things. Just trying to enjoy every day with my boys. They are growing up so fast!