Friday, December 17, 2010

A Bully Almost Killed My Son

I kid you not, no sooner did I press "publish" on my last post about Ricky's nut allergy when the phone rang. It was the school secretary at Ricky's school telling me that Ricky took a bite of a classmate's peanut butter snack!!!!

Ricky's teacher followed the guidelines I left her and gave him a benadryl tablet immediately. They said his throat and mouth were burning and his stomach was bothering him. I woke up Teddy from his nap, and drove to school - of course hitting every red light, slow people, turned the wrong way, etc. They said he was breathing okay (so no need for the epipen at that point) and I told them to let him drink water to flush out the peanut butter.

When I arrived at the school office, there was Ricky sitting at a table. I put his coat on, and was telling everyone in the office that I was going to take him to the ER. My mom was meeting me at the school to grab Teddy. While mid-sentence, Ricky started vomiting - gallons - 4 times. His color changed and then I realized that my kid was REALLY IN TROUBLE. I thought I was watching him die.

In a nutshell, the secretary called 911 and they came. I rode in the ambulance with Ricky and asked him what happened. My son always asks if something has peanuts, nuts, or peanut butter in it before he eats it. He said that the Big Bully Boy - who sits at a different table in the class - walked up to him and said while holding out a peanut butter sandwich cracker, "Here Ricky, try this cracker. It has no peanuts or peanut butter in it." So my son took the cracker and took a bite.

Immediately, his throat and mouth were on fire and he started to feel like crap quickly. He told a classmate he had peanuts, and she told the teacher.

This Big Bully Boy is the same boy who had been bullying Ricky earlier this school year. Physically throwing him down at school and at sports, taunting, humiliation, etc. This kid almost killed my son.

The paramedic on the ambulance told me that his fire chief had a peanut allergy and he cooked a big barrel of stew for the firehouse and put 2 tablespoons of peanut oil in it - unaware of the chief's allergy. Well the chief took one bite and was in Intensive Care at the hospital for 4 days!!!

When we got to the hospital, there were many people in Ricky's room. The doctors all told me that since his teacher gave him a benadryl tablet immediately, it really saved his life. If minutes had gone by, his body would have followed the anaphylaxis route. That's how bad Ricky's allergy was.

Now I always knew that his allergy was bad, but I guess I thought it was moderate - probably denial. This was a HUGE wake up call. I'll have to write more later - there is so much to this story, and I was up from 1am to 5am this morning - I couldn't sleep with all my anger and frustration buzzing in my head. Mark and I met with the school principal yesterday and I'll write about that later. Just reviewing all this right now makes me want to lie down and sleep.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Let's Talk About Nuts

Ricky is allergic to peanuts and tree nuts and has an epipen. But besides eating it, he has symptoms just being near nuts. We suspected his allergy when he was a toddler - I gave him a peanut butter cracker and he said his mouth was burning and he cried after just one bite. Certain foods would really bother him after just taking one bite. So we had him tested, and sure enough, he is allergic to all nuts, dogs, cats, dust mites, dust mite poop, etc.

In preschool, I showed the teacher how to use the epipen and it was fine. She accidentally let Ricky eat a peanut butter cracker one day and didn't tell me. I picked him up and when I was buckling him into his carseat, his eyes were black and sunken in and he said his throat hurt and he couldn't breathe so well. He told me he took a bite of a peanut butter cracker. So I gave him water and went up to the teacher and asked her if that was true and she said yes, and sorry. So if I didn't go up to her she wasn't going to tell me - she was going to let Ricky have his reaction with me -with me not knowing. He could've gone into anaphylactic shock in the back seat with me not knowing why and maybe not realizing what was happening - so not knowing that he needed his epipen.

I liked this teacher too. She was fine otherwise, I just didn't like how she treated this situation - and it was obvious to me that she didn't fully understand Ricky's allergy.

Now I'm not a crazy mother. I may be a bit overprotective, but I have to be with Ricky's allergy.

Now in kindergarten they have full days - so there is lunch time. I spoke with the assistant principal and made arrangements for Ricky to have a designated seat and to tell the teacher to check the kids sitting near him - that they be moved if they have peanut butter. There are 3 kindergarten classes and one kid in each class is allergic - one to peanuts and the other just tree nuts. But only if eaten. Lucky Ricky also has contact sensitivity. :(

They have snack time too - and the teachers sent a note saying that snacks with nuts or peanut butter may not be brought to school. The worry is that they will get peanut butter on their hands, touch the same toys, or seats, and Ricky will be exposed, and will have a problem. So far, so good. No problems.

Now he is in kindergarten and is invited to birthday parties. Ricky's doctor said he has to have his epipen with him at all times - at play dates especially - she said - because people will accidentally give him something that has nuts or was made on the same equipment, and he will have a problem. So there you have it.

Ricky is invited to a birthday party tomorrow at Chuck E Cheese. Most of the boys at this age navigate their way around that place by themselves or with another pal. Their parents usually drop them off and come back later. Ricky likes me to play some of the games with him. I don't want to be a hovering mom, so my mom will actually take him the party and stay on the sidelines with his epipen and benadryl in her purse. Then I don't have to teach the hosting parents how to use it, etc. ("....and you just push this and stick the long needle at a 90 degree angle into Ricky's thigh - hard enough so it goes through his jeans...") I feel like I should take a break from being there so the boys don't think Ricky always has to have his mom around. Having Grandma hover is a good switch. This way Ricky is protected and I know he's in good hands.

When Ricky is older he will eventually learn how to use the epipen himself and will have to keep it in his pocket while he's at school. In the meantime, since he's just a kid, an adult has to be around to use it. Ricky hasn't been invited to play dates at all this school year - and I'm wondering if the epipen thing is the reason why. We've been so busy, it's almost better that we've hosted.

Besides the teacher, it's come to my attention from being dumped by Mandy that many people do not fully understand the severity of this allergy. I mean, a good friend of mine told me that I was overprotective and crazy for sending Ricky's epipen with him to a birthday party - and that I better not give the parents the epipen at play dates. I mean, she DUMPED me over this. You can read about here and here. What floored me is that she used to be a teacher. Obviously to me now, a crappy one. I realize now that I did a bad job explaining the details of Ricky's allergy to my mommy friends. When we'd get together, it is usually chaotic, and trying to keep up any kind of conversation is challenging. Talk is usually choppy.

When I was going through secondary infertility, I sought out bloggy moms who were going through the same thing. I got ideas from them, and they supported me too. I now realize that I should really try to find others out there who have kids with peanut/tree nut allergies - and learn how they handle situations at school, sports, and every day. So I'll be looking at groups, blogs, and boards. Just like SIF, I'm sure I'll find some people out there with lots of good ideas. I could use some.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Crazy Fridge, Crazy Me

Last week I woke up at 2am to the sound of what I thought was Mark snow-blowing in our kitchen. It was loud, crazy, and obnoxious. I ran into the kitchen, still asleep but standing, to find Mark wrestling with our refridgerator. Somehow it decided to make a horrible noise, like it was going to blow up, in the middle of the night. Happy the boys didn't wake up. Mark unplugged the darn thing - and sure enough, 2 days later, the fridge died.

So here I sit on my couch, waiting for the delivery men to come with our new fridge - a cheap (but nice and pretty) one to leave in a house that is for sale. I told Mark that we need to move asap because with our luck, the stove, washer, and dryer will all die too - and I really don't want to be spending any more money on this house. I would rather spend it on nice appliances for the other house.

Teddy woke up last night at 3:30 screaming and decided he wanted to watch Sesame Street. Mark had been up the whole time (he hasn't slept in days due to the 2 job offers he's received - they are both great and he doesn't know which one to take!) and he really needed to sleep so in order to get some quiet in the house, I had to give into Teddy and let him watch TV at 3:30am. He pretty much passed out sitting up eating his lunch, so he'll be taking a nice long nap. But boy am I tired!!! Up since 3:30 and no nap in my near future.

We finally found an outfit for Ricky to wear for his Christmas performance at school. I just have to remember to get the pants hemmed in time.

So things have been crazy to say the least. No Christmas photo for our cards taken yet, no presents wrapped, not done with Christmas shopping. There's only about one week left, right? I've been meaning to bake some cherry pies for over a week and never got the chance yet. I plan on baking my Christmas cookies sometime too.

I took Teddy to story time at the library yesterday. They don't read a book - so I don't know why they call it storytime but we just sing songs and finger plays and they play with a bunch of toys. Then we go upstairs to the kids' department and he plays there for a while. He really likes it. It's hard for me to watch him at story time, and not following what the librarian is doing and not really listening. The other kids are following along and participating, and he stands up and runs away from me. It's hard for me to hear the other tots say "mama" or "book" and Teddy says nothing to me and just does caveman language. It really makes me worry that there is something more than just a speech delay. We won't be able to test for anything like that til after he's 3.

I'm going to try to sign him up for Tots Gymnastics this afternoon. They can't do it over the phone so I have to go out in the frigid cold to register! Ugh. Hopefully there are still openings. For Ricky we are considering floor hockey, swimming, or karate - we have to decide soon because everything starts the first week of January. I seriously do not know how people with more than 2 kids do it with all the sports and stuff!!

Anyway, not really sure what the point of this post was. Just babble!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Random Thursday

I took Teddy to the Kohl's Children's Museum this morning and he loved it. My mom bought us a membership so I plan on taking him there once a week to run around if I can. Ricky loves it there and it's really a cool place. I heard lots of kids sneezing and coughing, and I'm dreading the thought of Teddy catching something from our visit (his hospital stay with pneumonia still fresh in my mind), but it can't be helped. He's been going crazy here at home - so bored - same old toys. Tomorrow he has speech therapy and he has his Toddlers in Action class. Both things he loves.

I have to work tonight at the library and I'm hoping it will be a smooth evening. I actually am looking forward to it. It's my time to interact with adults and help people find books and dvds. What could be better.

I am reading Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout - my third attempt. So far, so good. Not sure what my problem was those other times - maybe mommy a.d.d.

Not done Christmas shopping and still not sure if we're hosting Christmas day with my ILs. Our Christmas card photo still hasn't been taken. I'm not worried about it and not stressed at all. Is there something wrong with me?

I have to say that I'm starting to watch "The Talk" almost every day during nap time while I'm on the computer (yeah I should be walking on the treadmill instead but whatever). I used to watch "The View" (I love Whoopie) but it got too serious and they would argue all the time and I could never understand what anyone was saying because they would all talk at the same time. I like "The Talk" - all the ladies seem so nice and crack me up. No fighting. Been a SAHM for nearly 6 years and haven't watched one soap opera!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

The Importance of UP!!

Teddy had his speech therapy appointment this morning with Ms. Diane. She got him to build blocks vertically and say, "UP" several times each time he added a block!! You can't imagine how terribly excited we are. Teddy says close to nothing that is discernible besides 'mama" and "dada."

Teddy will be 2 in a month. I worry about him all the time and I will continue to do so until he talks more and shows that he is OK. I blame myself for his silence. When he was 11 months old, Mark went to Missouri with his mother for a funeral and stayed overnight. Teddy was sick and got up a few times in the night and finally I just put him in bed with me. I was exhausted, out of it, and thought he would be comforted by being with me. Barricaded by pillows, my arm and my leg strategically placed to sense each movement.

I will never forget the sound of BOOM...then the piercing cry. He fell off our bed. Onto our hardwood floors. I phoned the doctor in the morning and they said that if he vomits, he has a concussion. The nurse was very nice. I was embarassed, self-loathing at being a stupid mother. She said if he doesn't vomit, he's fine. Well he never vomited. His eyes looked fine, no bumps on his head.

I still wonder if that fall caused him some brain damage that is the root of his speech issues. That or the fact that I was very sick when I was pregnant with him and took lots of meds. I had gestational diabetes and asthma - which led to such a horrible cough that I fractured my ribs - front first - then the back a few months later. I had to take steroids to suppress the cough and tons of Tylenol 3. Or was it all the fertility drugs I took the year before Teddy was conceived. Did all that screw up my eggies? Who knows.

Ms. Diane says he is making good progress and making more sounds. He is actually paying more attention to the books we read together and he sits with me longer than he did in the past. I am really hoping he is OK. Please god. Make him Ok.

Anyways, that's where things are with Teddy on the speech front.

In the meantime, I have a horrible headache today - the first day of December with our first snow. Nothing that seems to stick, but I love watching it blow around in the sky. I plan on cutting out snowflakes with Ricky when he gets home from school.

Not a lick of Christmas shopping accomplished! No decorations put up yet! No clue what our Christmas card photo will be. We might host but we're not sure yet!! I'm actually pretty calm about everything. Am I crazy?