Please Don't Ask Me How I'm Feeling

As someone who suffered secondary infertility for a few years, 1 miscarriage, and 1 blighted ovum loss, I am very sensitive to others who are in that same boat.

Several weeks ago at preschool pick-up a bunch of parents were standing around just chit-chatting and getting to know one another - asking how many children they had attending the school, where you lived, etc. When asked how many kids she had, one mother said while blushing that she and her husband have been trying for a long time to have their second child. There I was with my big belly in her face - so I told her that it took us almost 3 years to get pregnant with this one. That's all I was able to share because then the kids came out and we all scrambled home on our separate ways.

So every day at drop-off and pick-up, some parent always asks me how I am doing and how I am feeling - and the mother with the SI is always standing right next to me. I always feel terrible. When I answer, I don't want to say "I feel terrific!" nor do I want to complain about my asthma, diabetes, or anything because I am so lucky to even *be* pregant in the first place. I never know how to answer when I am standing next to her because I know that whatever I say, she will feel bad. I know how much it sucks for her to hear all that every single time.

I just really hope things work out for her and she gets pregnant soon.

Ricky's Question of the Day

I'm standing in front of my closet - trying to decide what to wear to work. Ricky is sitting on our bed, jumping around and talking to me.

"Mommy I want to ask you something." he says

"Yeah, what?" I say.

"Why is your butt growing?" he asks.

"Because your baby brother is growing in my belly." I laugh.

"But he's not in your butt. So why is it growing and getting bigger?" he asks.

Saving Santa

In my mommy circle of girlfriends (there are 4 of us), we all happen to be Catholic except for one friend named Lee. She's Jewish. We've been friends for over 2 years now and the difference in religion never mattered. Until now.

On 2 separate occasions, Lee has blatantly made fun of Santa in FRONT OF THE KIDS, said that she "doesn't do Santa," and outright talks about her not doing the Santa thing with her daughter -without spelling to us mommy friends or trying to hide what she is saying in front of the kids. Granted, they are only 3 - but they are a smart group of 3 year olds. They listen to what we talk about - and Ricky will ask me questions about it later.

I was really bothered by her lack of respect for the Santa tradition and the fact that she almost wants to blow it for our kids. As a person though, she does have this mean streak where if her kid doesn't have something - then she doesn't want our kids to have it either. Our husbands all ask us why we are friends with her.

So what did I do? I purposely invited her to breakfast with me when Ricky was at preschool. Her husband watched their daughter and I had my chance to set her straight. I was not about to let her ruin Santa for Ricky - if she did this, this would end our friendship - not to mention her friendship with our other mommy friends too.

So I talked to her and she was pretty fake. She said, "Oh I would never talk about Santa in front of the kids." (Um, you did a few times already - pretty close calls). I asked her if her daughter would just tell Ricky that there was no Santa. She said no, her daughter knows Santa exists. I am not convinced with her responses given what I have witnessed. I could go and on about the details of our conversation, but it will just aggravate me.

So, I will cease all playdates with her after the second week of November - or sooner. Ricky is already talking about Santa. God forbid Lee says something or her daughter does. I told my 2 mommy friends, after that, playdates at your own risk!!

I posted an old picture of me and Santa when I was about 6 years old. I already knew he was a fake - I had chicken pox at Christmas Eve and my family went to midnight mass except for me and my grandma. We lived in a bungalow in Chicago and had no fireplace so my parents put our stockings on our doorknobs. I was pretending to be sleeping and caught my grandma stuffing my stocking. My sister tried to save Santa by saying that he was so fat that he couldn't get past the gate so he gave grandma our candy to stuff. I didn't buy it.

Pregnant Babble

I'm 25 weeks along today and had my appointment with my OB. I am at the same weight I was at 4 weeks ago - only because of my new gestational diabetes diet. I actually lost 3 pounds but then gained them right back. I really don't care - I just want the baby to be healthy - and what the heck do I need to gain more weight for really? I am huge. I think this low carb diet is really good for me.


The bad thing is that unlike my lung specialist who thinks my asthma will go away when the baby pops out, my OB said that I might have it even after the baby born. That totally sucks. I feel better right now because I am on prednisone but after 10/21 when I stop, I know I will take a nose-dive and my lungs will start squeaking again. How do I know this? It's my third time on prednisone.


If not for the asthma and the cracked rib issues, I felt pretty good overall in the second trimester. Too bad I was so miserable dealing with these issues that I didn't get to just enjoy my pregnancy. Ricky and Mark took turns the other night feeling my belly move. The baby was kicking up a storm and it was really funny to see Ricky's face at every movement.


I start my third trimester next week already! I can't wait to have the baby - but we still need to get through the holidays. My sister is coming in to visit in a few days and I'm really excited about that. I actually just gave my boss my last day at work - November 22. I figure I should just relax and prepare for the baby. I don't really want to be walking around outside and driving in the snow when I can barely keep my balance as it is. My boss told me that she could set up an arrangement after the baby is born where I can work 3-6 hours a month on an as-needed basis just to keep my employee status on the payroll. I thought this was great because I really don't know how things will go when the baby is born. I plan on breastfeeding and this will mean that my mom will have to feed the baby bottles and take care of 2 kids instead of just Ricky. But I think she can handle 3 hours a month - or Mark can.

Preschool Drama

I had my first parent-teacher conference in my life on Monday. Given that Ricky is only is 3 year old preschool, I know this was the first of many. The reason for the conference? There is a disruptive boy in his class who has a behavioral issue and he has been hitting, pushing, dumping sand on Ricky every day since the first day of school. His name is Max.

Ricky is in a class with only 9 kids total and every month the parents are asked to volunteer to be Room Mom (or Dad) and help out. I decided to help out early on and volunteered the second week of school. The suspense as to what actually goes on in there was killing me. He is attending a Catholic school - the same school my sister and I attended. I really like this school and it means a lot to me that he goes there.

I knew after the first 5 minutes of class that there was a serious problem. Max was continuously disruptive and interrupted everything. The teacher and the aide always had to have him sit in their lap to restrain him. During circle time the teacher always had to stop to tell him to stop whatever he was doing - thus losing her train of thought and having a hard time maintaining the interest and attention of the "good" kids. When the teacher read a book, she had to stop every page to do the same. I can't even tell you what that book was about.

I asked the teacher and the aide about Max and they said that he was in the 3 year old program last year but got kicked out after a month. So this is his second attempt. Apparently he has 2 older brothers who are just as bad who go to the same school too.

On top of that, Ricky had been telling us every day that Max hit him (with a toy usually), pushed him, told him he "wasn't cool," told him he was "stupid" and all kinds of stuff. So this kid is physically and verbally abusing Ricky. The other day, I sent Ricky to school in a robot shirt - a pretty cool one if I do say so myself. When he came home, he said that all the kids liked his shirt, except Max and Ryan said his shirt was stupid. NICE.

So at my conference with Ricky's teacher, I explained my concerns. First, that because of Max and all the disruptions, the quality of the class is suffering. If this is what goes on in the class day in and day out through the rest of the school year, this is not what I am paying for, and I will have a big problem with this. Secondly, we discussed the whole physical and verbal abuse thing.

I know it's early, but we're already worried about cliques, teasing, and bullying. So sad.

The Room Mom today told me that Max is actually improving and he left Ricky alone. I am Room Mom again on October 23rd and I better see some improvement!! Otherwise, it's to the principal's office!