I had my first parent-teacher conference in my life on Monday. Given that Ricky is only is 3 year old preschool, I know this was the first of many. The reason for the conference? There is a disruptive boy in his class who has a behavioral issue and he has been hitting, pushing, dumping sand on Ricky every day since the first day of school. His name is Max.
Ricky is in a class with only 9 kids total and every month the parents are asked to volunteer to be Room Mom (or Dad) and help out. I decided to help out early on and volunteered the second week of school. The suspense as to what actually goes on in there was killing me. He is attending a Catholic school - the same school my sister and I attended. I really like this school and it means a lot to me that he goes there.
I knew after the first 5 minutes of class that there was a serious problem. Max was continuously disruptive and interrupted everything. The teacher and the aide always had to have him sit in their lap to restrain him. During circle time the teacher always had to stop to tell him to stop whatever he was doing - thus losing her train of thought and having a hard time maintaining the interest and attention of the "good" kids. When the teacher read a book, she had to stop every page to do the same. I can't even tell you what that book was about.
I asked the teacher and the aide about Max and they said that he was in the 3 year old program last year but got kicked out after a month. So this is his second attempt. Apparently he has 2 older brothers who are just as bad who go to the same school too.
On top of that, Ricky had been telling us every day that Max hit him (with a toy usually), pushed him, told him he "wasn't cool," told him he was "stupid" and all kinds of stuff. So this kid is physically and verbally abusing Ricky. The other day, I sent Ricky to school in a robot shirt - a pretty cool one if I do say so myself. When he came home, he said that all the kids liked his shirt, except Max and Ryan said his shirt was stupid. NICE.
So at my conference with Ricky's teacher, I explained my concerns. First, that because of Max and all the disruptions, the quality of the class is suffering. If this is what goes on in the class day in and day out through the rest of the school year, this is not what I am paying for, and I will have a big problem with this. Secondly, we discussed the whole physical and verbal abuse thing.
I know it's early, but we're already worried about cliques, teasing, and bullying. So sad.
The Room Mom today told me that Max is actually improving and he left Ricky alone. I am Room Mom again on October 23rd and I better see some improvement!! Otherwise, it's to the principal's office!
1 comment:
Sounds like Max's parents leave much to be desired. I think his teacher leaves much to be desired also. When we were kids, acting up was not tolerated. Abusing other students physically or verbally was certainly not tolerated. The teacher is allowing bully behavior to flourish in her tiny class. Max should be sent home until he can sit in the class and not be disruptive. If his parents don't like that, they should send him to a school for special needs children.
If you do have to see the principal, I hope you and the other 7 sets of parents all are on the same page. Best to have numbers on your side - especially when dealing with a private school that enjoys the tuition from the extra head in the classroom.
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