Farewell Chipper Librarian

It's official - I'm going to have to quit my part time job at the library. I am sad because this was my break - my chance to actually have adult conversation and feel good about myself. It was my time to surf the net and do personal things when it wasn't busy. I've made a few friends at work too - and I will miss joking around with them and being just me. For 13 hours a week, I am seen not as Ricky's mom, but as Carrie Ann. 

Teddy is adorable and he loves me waaaaayyy too much - so much that it's hard for anyone else to watch him when I'm not around.  I am nursing exclusively and he gets formula when I'm not around. When I've left him with Mark for an hour or two to do errands or grocery shop, I get voicemails with just crying. That's my cue I need to go home. When I walk in the room and he sees me, he's all happy again. I have to admit I love it - but sometimes I need a break! The last 2 times I took a shower, I heard crying and Mark was calling me to take the baby. I couldn't even put on moisturizer or dress!!

Mark and my mom both told me that they can't babysit for me - it's too hard with two kids - especially if Teddy is the way he is. I can't work 9-5 on a Saturday and have Teddy cry the entire time I'm gone. I can't work weekends because that's family time, and Mark has too much work to do around the house to be stuck babysitting every weekend. Working was a bit stressful - trying to make sure that Ricky (and now Teddy) has eaten, that Mark's dinner is cooked, and that all the things at home are taken care of before I leave, etc. 

So I'm meeting with my boss Thursday to tell her the news. I'm sad about it - but maybe I can work there again someday. At the same time, I am happy not to work. I remember not being able to take Ricky to the park when the days were beautiful because I had to go to work last summer. I need to be a full-time SAHM - especially now that Teddy is so small. I'll be taking him to toddler classes next year and doing all the things I did with Ricky when he was that age. There is a little bit of guilt Mark and I have for quitting when the economy is so bad - but there doesn't seem to be any other way. I'm happy to quit but sad at the same time - if that makes any sense at all... 

Teddy at 3 Months

We were supposed to meet Ricky's buddy from school and his mom at this bouncy castle place but when we all woke up this morning, we were all sick - me, Ricky, and Mark. I am hoping the baby doesn't catch it - but I'm noticing that he's sleeping an awful lot today - more than usual. 

So Mark stayed home from his freelance job and I am watching them play videogames all day - that Indiana Jones Lego game is really cute. 

I never posted a picture of Teddy and here he is. He actually has blue eyes but you can't really tell in this picture. I find that interesting because I'm Filipino and my hubby is caucasian. They could still change, but I hope they don't. So here's my little man. Like the hair??

Irish Twins?

I've been having cramps for the last few days and had that barfy feeling a few times - and the thought came - am I pregnant?? I have a 3 month old baby!! I did the math and the baby would be born in December - two babies born the same year!! Do they make bunk cribs?? I am breast feeding exclusively and I read that it's 98% effective....

The odds would be so low considering that it took us almost 3 years to get pregnant successfully again. We didn't have to worry about contraception because nothing was happening anyways.  I was supposed to have an IUD insertion at my 6 week post partum check-up but my OB/gyn suggested that I do that when we are sure we are done having kids since those things can stay in you for 10 years. Not to mention that when I saw all the instruments laid out on the table I totally chickened out. She gave me a prescription for the mini-pill which I took while I was nursing Ricky but then Mark lost his job and I didn't know our insurance situation and didn't want to take the pill for 3 months and then stop. Mark actually has a freelance job for the next 5 weeks but he spent quite a bit of time home the last 2 months......so it could be possible. Well, I took a pregnancy this morning and I am NOT pregnant. I have to admit that I was disappointed. I told Mark and he called me Octomom!! I think not. 

We joked about a third child but never thought it was even an option given our history. I'm grateful for the 2 healthy boys I have but my mom, cousin and sister say I need a girl. My aunt actually told me the last day I saw her that I needed a girl. I would love to have a girl but I feel like wishing for another child would be greedy after going through secondary fertility. Having 2 kids isn't as hectic as I thought it would be so what's so bad about adding one more? I guess I'm just intimidated by the cost of private schools and college. Then there are other day to day things I think of - isn't traveling harder with 3 kids? With two you can tag team, with three, they outnumber you. I guess we'll have to see.

My dad and stepmom were here visiting from the Philippines for 3 weeks so I didn't get to blog much. They stayed in our basement where they pretty much had their own bedroom and bathroom. My dad worked here in Chicago since the late '60s and retired a few years ago and moved back there. 

I love my dad but it was nice to have our house back. I don't have to get up at the butt crack of dawn to put out breakfast if I could stay in bed a while longer if Teddy would let me. But it was nice to have them around. 

Right now our priority is buying Ricky a big boy bed. We were contemplating bunk beds for the boys, but am afraid their age difference is too big that they wouldn't be interested in sharing. Teddy is huge - he just turned 3 months but he's wearing 9 month clothes! He sleeps through the night sometimes, but is usually up twice to eat at night. Ricky was up at least 4-5 times a night!! I'm still trying to adjust to having 2 kids and a house to take care of. I always try to be more organized - it's been my new year's resolution for years.