An Unwanted New Friend

I went to our friends' house Saturday to attend a Dove Chocolate party. Mark was battling an ear infection so I went solo. I was chatting and enjoying my glass of wine and was fingering my necklace around my neck. This is probably one of those things I do when I'm talking. I felt a large bump on the right side of my neck. Suddenly, all the laughing and funny talk I was participating in wasn't funny anymore. Nothing was.

I just kept feeling my lump. My friend Kat is a massage therapist and she probably feels lots of people's lumps. I showed it to her and she pressed on it - and it hurt - and she could move it around. Maybe it's my imagination, but today it feels smaller than it did over the weekend.

So of course I just *had* to google it. And of course horrible things are popping up - including the Big C, so I just stopped. I have 2 little kids - I'm not allowed to be sick!!

I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow morning. Wish me luck!!

On the Road to Babble-On

Well, the lady from Early Intervention came by on Wednesday to meet with us about Teddy not talking. I want to thank The Captain's Wife, a blogger who brought early intervention to my attention. I was initally annoyed that our (very expensive) private insurance didn't cover speech therapy and she told me that states do have early intervention programs for age 0-3. I never would have thought about it - and if I did - Teddy would've lost the time.

Anyways, the woman came. We signed lots of papers and talked about Teddy and the way he communicates, plays, interacts, and his life. A speech therapist and a developmental therapist will come to our house to evaluate him within the next two weeks and based on the results, they will let us know how often he needs therapy. She was guessing it would be once a week.

The incredible part is that it would be one hour long session, once a week, in our home until the age of 3 - if that's how long he needs it. The cost would be around $30 - $60 a month - depending on our income. We haven't figured it all out yet because Mark is self-employed and makes great money some weeks, and lesser money some weeks. But there is a general ballpark. But usually therapy is about $80- $100 or more an hour and we'd be getting all this therapy for Teddy for $30 - $60 per month?? Incredible. I've paid tons in taxes throughout my life so it's all good.

On another note, can I just mention that Ricky starting full-day kindergarten and soccer is making me super busy - just those things alone??? I only have ONE kid in school right now and the soccer practices, games, birthday parties, field trips, fundraisers, blah, blah, blah.....gosh what will things be like when they're both in school? I really don't remember being this social when I was in grammar school. All our birthday parties were on the weekends...

Teddy's Moms and Tots class - that was supposed to start next week - got cancelled so now I have to find another one. Apparently, they couldn't find a teacher. I really need to get him involved in a social class. He needs to play with other kids his age now. Maybe that will help him talk more too.

Too Many Books But Who's Complaining

So I went a month or so with nothing to read and suddenly 5 books that I had on hold at the library all showed up for me at the exact same time! So now I am frantically reading what I can - a page here and there just so I finish! Three of them are due in a week! Eek!! Granted, I could probably get a pal at the library to erase my fines, but since many of these have holds on them, I don't want to be inconsiderate to the next reader who's waiting for their book.

These are the books I'm reading:

1. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

2. Mudbound by Hillary Jordan

3. The Writing on My Forehead by Nafisa Haji

4. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson

5. One Thousand White Women: the Journals of May Dodd by Jim Fergus

I started the Writing on my Forehead by I have to put that down because it's not due til the end of the month. I started Mockingjay and I will start Mudbound since they are due in a week. I'll start the Girl With the Dragon Tattoo when I finish one book - I don't want to get *too* crazy.

Meanwhile, we had an open house yesterday and our agent said that 5 groups of people came in to look, but nobody was interested. He is encouraging us to drop our price by $20K in order to get an offer that is $50K below our current asking price! This market sucks!

Ricky is also home today with a double ear infection. He's had fevers all weekend. We're wondering if Teddy has it too - he's been getting up in the middle of the night the last few nights - and I've found myself waking up in my rocker a few hours later with a sore neck! He hasn't had a fever, but I'll have to watch him.

It is so beautiful outside - a truly beautiful September day and I have to keep them inside. I'd rather it was raining! It's nice to have a really clean house though - aside from laundry, I don't feel guilty reading or relaxing because everything is done.

The Speech Coordinator for the State is coming on Wednesday morning to meet us and meet Teddy and to go over all the options for him. He will then we evaluated on another date at our home. Both meetings are free. It's so annoying that our expensive insurance doesn't cover speech therapy!! UGH!!!

Friday Musings

Well I met with Ricky's teacher yesterday after school and she is very aware of the situation. She said that she knows it won't make me feel better, but apparently the Big Bully Boy targets everyone in class, not just Ricky. She had more of the attitude of "they're 5 & 6 years old , what can you do, this is normal." She showed me a Bee-havioral chart in the shape of a bee hive that has everyone's name and if you are bad, your name gets put in the hive. What the hell does that mean?? Like this kid is really going to care?

Ricky's teacher said that the Big Bully's mom is aware of his behavior and he is a "hands-on" kid. Well he better keep his hands off of Ricky!!! I like this teacher, but the fact that she is soooo young, makes me skeptical that she can handle this situation the right way. In my school days (back in the 70s & 80s - cough cough), bullies were dealt with in a no-nonsense manner - none of this sissy crap. My teachers made sure they didn't give bullies extra attention or take away from the quality of the lessons. Not sure this is really happening in Ricky's class..... too gentle. Anyways, Mark and I have decided that if there is no improvement, there will be a meeting with the principal.

Meanwhile, I should be cleaning right now. I have to pick up Ricky in 2 hours and then we're meeting an old grammar school classmate at the park with her 2 boys. Her 2 boys are the exact same age as mine - she has a boy in kindergarten and a tot who is 3 months younger than Teddy. You can't get any more perfect for a playdate. She also had SIF and had 2 miscarriages like me so her second and third are quite the miracles. She threw in the towel (like me) and they both happened. I'm still getting to know her better - we weren't that close as kids, but we're starting a friendship now. We talked a lot at our class reunion earlier this year and had a playdate last week. I'm going to wait a while before I tell her what happened to me with my mean mommy friends. If I tell her now while she doesn't know me too well, she might believe that bullshit! It will be nice to have a decent mommy friend in the neighborhood. Her son goes to a different school - but also Catholic.

Gotta go fold mountains of laundry now!

Trying Not to be the Annoying Mom

Today I have a meeting with Ricky's teacher after school to discuss Ricky being bullied by the bigger boy I mentioned in my earlier post. I'll call him the Big Bully Boy. Ricky's teacher is very young, maybe 22 years old and graduated from this grammar school herself in 2002. She is very nice, and I like her, but I sympathize with her because she certainly has her hands full - of kids and the crazy parents. I will go easy on her, but I definitely want her to watch the Big Bully Boy and what he does to Ricky on a daily basis.

Ricky had a rough first week of kindergarten. I think transitioning to full days every day was a big change, as well as a new class of kids and a teacher. There were many new kids too. All his friends were also placed in the two other classes. Ricky used to love going to school and now he doesn't want to go, and he actually pretended to be sick last week. I later realized this was after the Big Bully fought with him over his gummies (when all I saw was a shredded piece of plastic - what used to be the sandwich bag). That must have freaked him out. Anyways, there is no way my son can learn when he's being verbally and physically harassed. My husband and I have also seen the Big Bully Boy come after Ricky at soccer practice - throwing him down, punching Ricky's soccer ball out of his arms, etc.

Meanwhile, I have left a voicemail for the coordinator who is supposed to visit our house and give Teddy a speech and language evaluation and I haven't received a call back. Funny, this is the 3rd voicemail I have left for business/personal purposes and nobody seems to ever want to call me back. What is wrong with people - I guess I have to call again!

Starting Fresh

Has it really been a month since I last blogged? Shame on me! Things are different in the Chipper Librarian household. This is what I've been up to (not that anyone cares):

1. Ricky just started Kindergarten. It's a Catholic school, so he had to get used to the uniform. He was a bit nervous about tucking in his shirt, so he spent the first week not drinking anything so he didn't have to pee - so he didn't have to tuck in his shirt!! I spent a lot of time telling him about kidney stones and dehydration. Hopefully this will pass!

There is a big kid in his class who got held back and is fond of picking on Ricky. For the first week, this kid was demanding that Ricky give him his gummies for snack time every day. I knew something was going on when I would find a torn piece of plastic (the remains of a ziplock sandwich bag) in his lunch bag. Last week things died down and he said it was okay. He just hides his gummies and eats them when the boy isn't looking. UGH!!!

On a lighter note, last week Ricky was grinning all day and night after school because he overheard all the girls in his class say that he was cute and was the smartest kid in class. Nothing better than a boost to the self esteem! When he's down, I'll remind him of this and it always cheers him up.

2. All the popular kids (the moms I don't hang out with anymore) all ended up in the same class. Hmmmm....I wonder how *that* happened. There are tons of kids/parents now at drop off and pick-up and I hardly ever cross paths with them so that's good. It is sad to think that I used to go on play dates with these women and their kids, and our social calendar was pretty active. Now, my phone is silent and I spend many days not talking to anyone and waiting for Mark to come home from work. I have to admit, it gets lonely at times. But I remind myself that it's better to be alone than with bad company! I don't need those petty bitches in my life!

3. I'm applying for Illinois' All Kids program for Teddy - for his speech therapy. It takes 40 days to be approved. Supposedly it will cover 100%.....it's better than nothing! All my days of over-annunciating are not having the results I've been looking for. All he says is "mamama" and "dadadada' but basically it's the same as last year. I can tell he understands us, but otherwise he is the same baby - just bigger, chubbier, and runs all over the place. No new communication. We are so very worried that it's more than just a delay. The pediatrician told me that this is genetic - and my husband and nephew both did not speak til age 3. My MIL and SIL have assured me many times not to worry.....so I'm trying hard not to.

4. Our house is still on the (crappy) market. One woman gave us a very crappy verbal offer and we almost accepted it but then she ended up pursuing some other house that was listed $90K lower than ours! Oh well....

I think those are the major things. Just trying to enjoy every day with my boys. They are growing up so fast!

19 months old and not really talking....

I took Teddy to his 18 month old check-up a few weeks ago and since he really only says "mommy" and 'dadada", the pediatrician gave me a script for speech therapy. I haven't had a chance to call the insurance to see if it's covered yet, so I haven't taken him yet. I think there is a part of me that thinks I can do the therapy on him myself.

Ricky and Teddy are completely different. Ricky was talking non-stop at 12 months but didn't walk until 18 months. Teddy was walking and running at 12 months and still not really talking - today he turns 19 months.

The doctor told me that this is a genetic trait and I found out from my MIL that my husband was a delayed talker and our nephew (who is very bright) didn't talk until the age of 3!!!

This not talking thing is kind of a blow to my over-achieving side of the family. It causes some worry because delayed speech can be linked to autism or other learning disabilities. I'm hoping that since Mark and our nephew were delayed in speech (but turned out just fine) that Teddy's situation is nothing but a repeat of what's in his genes.

Ricky knew all his letters by 20 months - I had a deck of flashcards and put them in random order and he knew them. (I really did it to wow my dad - who visits once a year). When I think of this, it makes me really worry about Teddy. I know each child is different and develops at their own pace, so I really try to put it out of my mind. Teddy is constantly babbling sounds (which is good) and I hope that his delayed speech is nothing to worry about. Meanwhile, I better see if the speech therapy is covered by insurance....