I was incredibly devastated when Mark and I dropped out of fertility in April. I thought that for sure, I would never be able to conceive another child again. So we booked a trip to Punta Cana and just worked on our house and looked forward to a fun-filled family vacation. I scheduled our trip around my ovulation for a procreation vacation. We officially gave up and decided that it wasn't in God's plan for us and we needed to re-connect and spend quality time together. We had a lot of healing to do. Needless to say, I relaxed quite a bit after throwing in the towel.
Secondary Infertility really ate me up. It sucked all the energy out of me and I felt that it deprived me of operating as a normal mother and wife because I was stressed out and depressed all the time. I realized that I needed to be there for my husband and son. I was actually happy to stop officially trying.
I'll apologize up front if this is TMI (too much information) for you. The fertility treatment did not give me a diagnosis. My doctor said that everything was normal. The only thing that struck us was that after abstaining for 5 days, Mark had 35 million sperm - and after abstaining for 2 days he had 5 million sperm.
For the last 2 years, my OB/GYN and every book and magazine said to try every other day. So it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that our problem was that we were trying too hard. There is never enough sperm to make it to the finish line.
So we dropped out of fertility and I waited until my next cycle. We abstained for 5 days and tried on my ovulation day. Shockingly enough, I ended up pregnant. I am now 10 weeks and already showing and still shocked every minute of the day that I am pregnant - with only my belly and my constant feeling of wanting to puke to remind me. I got pregnant the month after we quit fertility and before leaving for our procreation vacation.
We are incredibly happy but just started telling people now because I am showing. I have to admit that I am terrified of having another miscarriage and hope the days and months go by faster so my chances of that go down. I am trying not to be consumed by fear with this pregnancy.
Little Ricky wants a sister and so does the rest of my family - and Mark wants a boy. To be honest, I have no preference - I just want a healthy baby. It took us since 2006 to get to this point (again) and I am just praying to God that this baby survives.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
Mrs. So-in-So
I am going to be 35 this year in September so I don't think I'm too old.
Growing up, I always addressed my friends' parents as Mr. and Mrs. So-in-so. This was fine and dandy with me.
Now that I am a parent, in my inner circle of mommy friends (I am very close to 3 mommies in particular) they have allowed their kids to address me by my first name. When our friendship was still new, I would tell Ricky to address my friends as Mrs. so-in-so and my friends would say, no, just call them by their first name.
It just feels weird to me and slightly inappropriate that Ricky addresses them by first names and that their kids address me by first name. I don't know. Am I too old-fashioned? Am I stuck in the 80s?
I haven't made a big deal about it because I don't want to be the only Mrs. So-in-So in the group. It feels like you have be uniform - so it looks like first names win. Not to mention the fact that the oldest children are 3 - and already are accustomeed to this. It might be too hard to change.
Any opinions on this?
Growing up, I always addressed my friends' parents as Mr. and Mrs. So-in-so. This was fine and dandy with me.
Now that I am a parent, in my inner circle of mommy friends (I am very close to 3 mommies in particular) they have allowed their kids to address me by my first name. When our friendship was still new, I would tell Ricky to address my friends as Mrs. so-in-so and my friends would say, no, just call them by their first name.
It just feels weird to me and slightly inappropriate that Ricky addresses them by first names and that their kids address me by first name. I don't know. Am I too old-fashioned? Am I stuck in the 80s?
I haven't made a big deal about it because I don't want to be the only Mrs. So-in-So in the group. It feels like you have be uniform - so it looks like first names win. Not to mention the fact that the oldest children are 3 - and already are accustomeed to this. It might be too hard to change.
Any opinions on this?
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Busting Out the Underpants
In March, Ricky was nearly potty trained. He went 2 days straight without wetting his pull-ups. He was ready for underpants. Then my father and stepmom arrived and stayed with us for 2 weeks. All the excitement sent all his progress down the tubes.
Ever since they left, I have been buying packages of Pull-ups every week. I breastfed Ricky for 14 months and loved to think of all the money I saved on formula - but now I realize I am spending it all on Pull-ups!!
He starts pre-school in September and they will not take any kids that are wearing Pull-ups. He has to be 100% potty trained. I know he must be stressed a bit because we are moving, but he really needs to move on.
Today I put Bob the Builder underpants on him and pointed out how soft and comfortable they feel and how they are so much better than Pull-ups. Then I made a chart for the week and took a package of 2,000 small smiley face stickers and sat him down and told him that every time he uses the potty, he gets a sticker. The more stickers he gets, the closer he is to getting new toys and a trip to the Renaissance Fair. He was revved up and sure enough, he used the potty and got his sticker.
I thought all was good until I put in the Tom & Jerry DVD and repeatedly asked him if he needed to go potty. He is fully aware of the pause feature and actually knows how to use it himself. But then he jumped on my lap and there was wetness all over. I tried not to be upset with him because he is only 3 - but I know he knows better than this.
I know deep down that the only way to train him is to go all hardcore and put him in underpants all the time. But to be honest, I am terrified to do this because I do not want our house to smell like pee when we are trying to sell it. I remember when we were house-hunting in 2000, we went to an open house and the basement smelled like pee and there in front of the tv was a toddler. We couldn't wait to get out of there.
What to do?
Ever since they left, I have been buying packages of Pull-ups every week. I breastfed Ricky for 14 months and loved to think of all the money I saved on formula - but now I realize I am spending it all on Pull-ups!!
He starts pre-school in September and they will not take any kids that are wearing Pull-ups. He has to be 100% potty trained. I know he must be stressed a bit because we are moving, but he really needs to move on.
Today I put Bob the Builder underpants on him and pointed out how soft and comfortable they feel and how they are so much better than Pull-ups. Then I made a chart for the week and took a package of 2,000 small smiley face stickers and sat him down and told him that every time he uses the potty, he gets a sticker. The more stickers he gets, the closer he is to getting new toys and a trip to the Renaissance Fair. He was revved up and sure enough, he used the potty and got his sticker.
I thought all was good until I put in the Tom & Jerry DVD and repeatedly asked him if he needed to go potty. He is fully aware of the pause feature and actually knows how to use it himself. But then he jumped on my lap and there was wetness all over. I tried not to be upset with him because he is only 3 - but I know he knows better than this.
I know deep down that the only way to train him is to go all hardcore and put him in underpants all the time. But to be honest, I am terrified to do this because I do not want our house to smell like pee when we are trying to sell it. I remember when we were house-hunting in 2000, we went to an open house and the basement smelled like pee and there in front of the tv was a toddler. We couldn't wait to get out of there.
What to do?
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Summer Babble
I can hardly believe it's been a month since my last post. For shame!
Since Mark and I stopped fertility, I do have to say that we are both less stressed. The whole thing raised the pressure of conceiving so high. We were physically and emotionally exhausted and decided to book a week-long vacation to Punta Cana. Kind of crazy since we are also trying to put our house up for sale this month, but we knew that the moment it's on the market, we can't go anywhere in case a buyer is interested. And with the market as bad as it is, who knows when that would be.
We went the last week of May and took Ricky along with us. At first we were thinking of making this a "procreation vacation" and my mother was willing to watch him for us while we were away. I booked the vacation during my ovulation and after much discussion, we both decided it was best to bring Ricky along with us - we would miss the little guy too much.
The vacation was wonderful - I flashed some cash at the front desk and got upgraded to a double room to allow us privacy and to allow Ricky to go to bed on time and not be bothered by the tv. Our Apple vacation did not allow room upgrades and I read on the internet that flashing cash can certainly help.
The trip was all-inclusive so all we had to bring was a wad of singles for tipping. Our resort had 2 all you can eat buffets and 6 gourmet restaurants. The food looked odd at first, but when you try it, it is delicious. Punta Cana is definitely more of a European destination - we didn't run into too many Americans. There were lots of Europeans and South Americans - it was an interesting bunch.
We spent every day of our vacation eating, swimming in the ocean, and building sandcastles. Mark and I haven't had a beach/ocean vacation since our honeymoon in Australia in 2002 so it was a great break.
Now we are busy fixing up the house and packing all our stuff to get our house ready to sell. We bought that house in 2000 and it is amazing how much crap we have accumulated. Needless to say, I have been so busy I haven't had a chance to upload my vacation photos!! I guess I'll get to it when I can!
Since Mark and I stopped fertility, I do have to say that we are both less stressed. The whole thing raised the pressure of conceiving so high. We were physically and emotionally exhausted and decided to book a week-long vacation to Punta Cana. Kind of crazy since we are also trying to put our house up for sale this month, but we knew that the moment it's on the market, we can't go anywhere in case a buyer is interested. And with the market as bad as it is, who knows when that would be.
We went the last week of May and took Ricky along with us. At first we were thinking of making this a "procreation vacation" and my mother was willing to watch him for us while we were away. I booked the vacation during my ovulation and after much discussion, we both decided it was best to bring Ricky along with us - we would miss the little guy too much.
The vacation was wonderful - I flashed some cash at the front desk and got upgraded to a double room to allow us privacy and to allow Ricky to go to bed on time and not be bothered by the tv. Our Apple vacation did not allow room upgrades and I read on the internet that flashing cash can certainly help.
The trip was all-inclusive so all we had to bring was a wad of singles for tipping. Our resort had 2 all you can eat buffets and 6 gourmet restaurants. The food looked odd at first, but when you try it, it is delicious. Punta Cana is definitely more of a European destination - we didn't run into too many Americans. There were lots of Europeans and South Americans - it was an interesting bunch.
We spent every day of our vacation eating, swimming in the ocean, and building sandcastles. Mark and I haven't had a beach/ocean vacation since our honeymoon in Australia in 2002 so it was a great break.
Now we are busy fixing up the house and packing all our stuff to get our house ready to sell. We bought that house in 2000 and it is amazing how much crap we have accumulated. Needless to say, I have been so busy I haven't had a chance to upload my vacation photos!! I guess I'll get to it when I can!
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