Flying (with no broomstick)

Ricky's 7th birthday party is Saturday and we've been so busy getting ready for that. 23 first grade boys at the bowling alley - we will be wiped out for sure. Ricky loves to dance - a lot. He got it from Mark. I wish someone was getting married right now because Ricky sure can bustamove! So back in November he said, "Mom, if you and dad give me a birthday party, can I please have a breakdancer at the party?" So I started looking and found a group of 7 breakdancers to come and dance at the party before we have cake. They are very nice guys and will also teach the boys some dance moves - so they're not just bringing home a goody bag - they'll have some moves for mom and dad as well.

Then afterwards, we're having our family party back at our house. No idea what food to order for that and of course my mom asks me every 10 minutes if I've ordered the food yet. I should really bake more stuff for that - Ricky's favorite cookies and treats. Oh yeah, and clean the house.

I just have to find the energy to fill all those treat bags tonight. After work I'm going to get his birthday presents and I have no clue what to get. Maybe a Kinect game, some Star Wars stuff.

With Ricky's allergy, I am baking the cupcakes rather than ordering a cake he can't eat. Not sure when I'll have time to do that - will most likely be making in the middle of the night I am sure.

Ricky's gone to 2 birthday parties in the last week at different jumpy places and I've been meeting more of the parents of the boys in his class and they are very nice. Ricky also attended the birthday party of a set of twins from his old school. It was nice catching up with the parents I haven't seen in a while - the nice parents.

I just can't believe my baby will be 7! Time really flies.

On the domestic front, our water heater decided to die on Monday night. We were lucky that Mark happened to decide to take a trip down to the basement (at 2am) when he saw the water trickling on the floor. It just started. So we've been nomads all week - showering at my mom's every night - and washing our hands and faces with ICE COLD water. Plumber is installing the new water heater tomorrow. You really take all these things for granted.

Mark just finished our pantry. We bought all our stuff when Container Store had their sale earlier this month. It looks great and I spent many hours yesterday organizing it and I'm not done!

On the movie front, I watched Breaking Dawn part 1. I liked those books a lot. The movies, not so good. I still do not like Kristin Stewart as an actress. She always seems pained and constipated. She would have been a good Leather Tuscadero on Happy Days.

I also watched Snow Flower and the Secret Fan. I read the book last year. I watched it with Mark and we liked it. It was odd that they used the same actresses to play the past and present though.

I still have Tree of Life but haven't had time to watch it yet. Waaaaaayyyy over due! Hear it's good.

It will be a great weekend to be sure. Then I will collapse.

Where do you think you are

All has been quiet. No peep from the crazy woman. Hoping it stays that way. I was over due with having bad luck with a complete moron.

Teddy started preschool this past monday and we are so relieved that he likes it. There are 5 adults in a class of 20 kids. The class is blended, and there is one girl in a wheelchair and a few others like Teddy who have an IEP. The special ed teacher has been great. Today was tricky because my mom took Teddy to school and picked him up. So we'll see how he adjusts to the new routines. I will officially start potty training this weekend. That will be interesting. Hopefully he sees all the other kids going and that will inspire him. Because of his IEP there is a teacher's aid that changes his diapers. He is the youngest in class and all the kids have been so nice to him.

One mother approached me about running for office on their school board. I am very friendly at pick-up and drop-off. After what happened with the other moms at the previous school I would rather lay low. I feel bad because when Ricky was in preschool I was always very active - always the Room Mother, always baking, always the chaperone on every single field trip. Of course I would run for office, that's in my personality, but because of stupid people, I find that it's not worth the trouble. Let someone else do it.

Collecting rsvp's for Ricky's 7th birthday party. We're having it at a bowling alley and Ricky had asked us to hire breakdancers back at Thanksgiving so I started looking and found a group of 7 guys to do it. We invited his friends from his old school and all the boys in his current class in his new school. We didn't invite our friends' kids and I feel bad about this but it would be too many kids. Need to look for a cake and fill all the goody bags.

On the friend front, Mark and I have really not socialized all that much. It's been so busy with the kids that we don't see our friends as often as we used to. I have a friend from library school who I have grown apart from - not purposely. She lives about an hour away and is also busy with her 3 kids. I have tried to email her to get together and she doesn't respond (been a few times this has happened in the last few years) yet she still sends us Christmas cards. I can't understand where she wants to be in my life. If you send me a Christmas card, then you still want to be in contact. If you blow off my emails to get together, then you aren't interested in being friends. Which is it. Decide. Unless you just want me to be on your Christmas card list with no contact whatsoever. Kind of a waste and kind of stupid. I get the busy thing - but please email me. If not today or tomorrow, maybe in a few months? Just email me. Sometime.

My cousin was messing around with my facebook account last year and accidentally press "hide" on this friend's feed and her husband's - and a few others. I never undid the hide (no reason) so I don't see their feeds unless I go to their pages. So consequently I never "like" or comment on their facebook stuff and I wonder if this sends the wrong message. If something happens with them (birthdays), Mark tells me because they are on his feeds. It's kind of sad. I really liked her. She made me laugh a lot in library school.

We have a group of friends we probably see 6 times a year. The rest of our friends we probably see once a year if we are lucky. But we are busy and so are they. No hard feelings. We are probably the least social people lately because of the kids and the recent move. We used to have Halloween parties every year. We haven't had one in a few years - our friends have taken over. A few friends thought that *we* hosted the party and didn't invite them because they saw the photos on facebook. Darn facebook!

Anyways, busy weekend. Ricky has cello and orchestra. He's doing very well. Then he competes in his very first karate tournament on Sunday. He is a little nervous but he'll do well.

Random Mommy Banter About Stuff

Since Teddy finished Early Intervention and we had our IEP meeting, we've been in waiting mode for his placement letter. It's been a few weeks so I made a few phone calls and the letter is coming and they will need to "call me to discuss." I take that to mean that maybe since it's already almost February and the middle of the school year that there may not be openings in schools that are closest to our house. They told us he qualifies for bus service and let me tell you there is no way in hell I am putting my 3 year old who doesn't speak much on a bus by himself!!!

Since I am not running Teddy to therapy and therapy playgroup appointments, I've been spending more time with him at home while I organize our new place. I like not running around because the quality of time I spend with him is so much better. While I think the Early Intervention helped him in many ways, I was disappointed in the speech therapy. I think she could have come more than once a week but didn't want to. I loved her - she was a sweet person but it was hard to see much progress when he only gets it once a week. But it was free and nothing is perfect I guess.

I guess there would be nothing wrong with keeping him home and sending him to preschool in the fall. The therapists strongly urged us to get him in preschool right away for socialization, etc. I want him to go to Ricky's school for preschool and I think it's best to have continuity so after I see where the placement is, I'll call the preschool teacher at Ricky's school to see what she thinks of Teddy and if he would be okay to start in September given his speech.

I love Ricky's school. Transferring him was the best decision. The school just won the President's Blue Ribbon Award for Excellence in the fall. Ricky is enjoying it and the kids are nicer than the other school (so he says) so that's great. They just had a standardized test earlier this month and Ricky scored in the 3rd-4th grade level for math (OMG) but he scored average for Reading and Phonics. The "problem" is that the average for the first grade kids at his school is well above the national average (40+ points above the national average!!) so even though Ricky scored 'average" it's below the average of the other first grade kids at his school. I guess they started teaching reading in kindergarten at his new school. Meanwhile, Ricky had a joke for a teacher who didn't teach and just treated the class like it was summer camp at his old school. So that means I'll be spending a lot more time on reading and phonics with him - which I love doing - so he can be "above average."

So let me brag about my eldest little boy for a moment. He is amazing at the cello - his teacher keeps telling me he plays better than the 4th graders he teaches. He is also doing very well in karate - he is now a Red belt with one stripe from his last belt exam. He loves it and just learned a new kata. He wants to compete in the next tournament in a few weeks. I will be more nervous than he will be! I am so proud of him and hope he continues to be so driven.

Potty training update - I read Teddy the potty books and talked to him about it and he doesn't seem to be interested. I asked Ricky to show Teddy when he pees and Ricky just says "No way Mom!!' Well can't say I blame him. Not sure I'd like someone to watch me every time I peed, but just thought it would be such a great inspiration for Teddy.... ok next on the list - dvds I guess...

On the home front, both my mom and my MIL will be having surgery next month. They will both need help so there will be lots of shuffling around.

Tonight we'll be seeing "Super 8" after the kids go to bed. I'm going to bake an apple pie and eat it with vanilla ice cream while it's still hot from the oven. Oh yeah, and we have tons of alcohol left over from the parties so it will be nice to have a lot of choices this evening!

Sort of Losing My Mind

Things are super busy and I thought I had a good handle on everything until I realized yesterday that I sent Ricky to school the previous week on picture day in his best outfit but forgot to send in the photo order!! Duh. And then I also realized that I forgot to send in Teddy's papers for his transition to the public school system for preschool - which he is supposed to start in January! Bad mommy.

Today I meet with Ricky's teacher for parent teacher conferences. This should be good - she is nice and Ricky is doing well in school. I am curious to see what she has to say. All is good from his reports, but I want to know what she says. He says he fits in and he listens. His papers are always 100%. I just hope he is happy in school - since it's new and everything.

Ricky attended his first birthday party from kids from his old school the other day. It was a zoo and there are a few kids in particular who are mean-spirited. A few things happened but in general I don't miss those boys (with the exception of about 5 who are Ricky's friends). The parents were nice and were curious about the school change and I told them how it all happened - with Zac's speech therapy and the learning about the awesome peanut/tree nut accommodations. I spoke to another peanut dad at the party and told him about Ricky's new school and the peanut stuff. I hope that school changes its ways or something bad will happen - again.

Busy Bee, Busy Me

I laugh at myself for claiming to be "back" only to not blog for the entire summer. Really, just one blog entry this whole year? How sad of me.

We had a great summer - everyone was healthy, no family members in the hospital, no accidents. We even managed to take a few days and took the boys to Wisconsin Dells. It made them very happy. They are both water people and love the pool so much so it was perfect. Mark started a new job in May and so far, so good.

Ricky started first grade and after the first week of school, Teddy's speech therapist told me that another nearby private school offered kids from K-8th grade speech therapy up to 3 times a week for its students. I called the principal and she confirmed this was true so I asked what their accommodations were for peanut/tree nut allergy kids and it was amazing what she told me. I'll have to write a post just about that topic because it is wonderful all by itself.

Based on the peanut/nut policy alone, we decided to transfer him immediately. Mark and I came in and met with the principal, toured the school, and pulled Ricky out that very day. He has now gone to the new school for 7 school days, has made a bunch of friends, and says he loves it. It's been pretty stressful, but I am relieved.

I am so blessed that my mom is retired and helps me with the boys. Besides school, Ricky has swimming lessons, karate lesson, cello lesson, and children's orchestra rehearsals every week. The cello was entirely his idea. It's great and I am thrilled he enjoys it. That just started the last few weeks. New school, new instrument. His teacher also heads the children's orchestra. 10 girls and 3 boys. Everyone plays violin except Ricky who is the only cello. He doesn't mind - he gets to sit. I personally love the cello with its low, soulful.

Teddy has speech therapy, developmental therapy, occupational therapy, Speech/OT playgroup, and Toddler Gymnastics every week. He is just a toddler but I already feel what some parents of older kids may have with 2 kids in sports and activities.

My boss has asked me to work 40 hours a month now (was 4 hours a month for the past year) so it's quite an adjustment. The job is nice and easy but it's the logistics of getting everything done with the kids and house and the running to and from that gets me frazzled. I feel like I'm becoming an old lady who obsesses over little things. I actually bought a momAgenda to keep me organized about where I need to be, where the kids need to be, and everything in between. I love it.

Teddy's speech is really getting better. He is using a lot more words and now we're working on putting 2 words together to make a sentence. It's so sad when I see a kid who is the same age asking his mom for this and that at the store while my Teddy uses one word here and there and grunts. He just had his annual meeting with all his therapists this past Tuesday and they recommended the Speech/OT playgroup which consists of 9 kids all the same age who have speech delays. He did a great job his first time this week. He will go to preschool in January already! He's not even potty trained yet but I guess that doesn't matter.

Anyways, it's a new start for Ricky at this new school. So glad he is liking it. Hoping for a great school year.

I'm Back!!!

I haven't blogged since last December when Ricky had the peanut butter scare. So many things have happened since and I just never got blogging back into my mommy routine. I also have not read any of my favorite bloggy friend blogs and I am hoping all the people I read about are fine. I plan on doing lots of catch-up.

It is now May and I can't believe I've been off blogger for that long. In a nutshell, here are the highlights of my life:

1. We had a good Christmas despite the roll of bad luck.

2. Ricky recovered from peanut butter attack. I spend hours at his school in meetings with the principal and assistant principal and I trained almost 20 lunch/recess parents on how to use an epi-pen.

3. Mark fractured his foot! He is still wearing the boot.

4. Mark got a new job!

5. My dad and stepmom visited for 2 weeks and stayed in my house. Nice to catch up with dear old dad!

6. Teddy had a medical diagnostic test by a world renown neurological pediatrician, and 5 therapists last week. After worrying that his speech delay is a sign of a brain problem or some form of autism, we are thrilled beyond belief that their conclusion is just an isolated speech delay and nothing more. Good news! Now Teddy is getting speech and development therapies weekly and now I am waiting for him to get approved to attend City Kids - which is a center where he can get occupational therapy for sensory stuff.

7. I'm a proud mama so bear with me while I brag about my kid a bit!

Ricky is really thriving in karate class. He is practicing his kata more than the arm pit farts now. He will have a belt test in 2 weeks - but I'm guessing he'll get stripes instead of a red belt. You have to be flawless to just skip the 5 stripes and get the belt - but we'll see.

Ricky also brought home a near perfect straight A report card. I couldn't be happier. Of course my family members rewarded him for each A and he was more than glad to fill his piggy bank. As a kid, my sister and I both got compensated for each A. Besides enjoying the achievement and doing it for yourself, it was nice to save up for that special thing.

8. Teddy turned 2 and Ricky turned 6!

Well those are the highlights since my last post. Looking forward to warmer weather and playing outside more. We're going to a play date this afternoon with about 5 other moms. Am I the only crazy person who will only invite 2 moms maximum- over? I think 5 moms with their kids is too many people - especially when they have little kids too. The 6 year old boys can take care of themselves though - so maybe it's not so bad.

I have bumped into Mandy (the mean mom) at birthday parties a few times and at the last one she was VERY VERY nice. I was nice back to her, of course, but after what happened, I just want to keep it cordial. No more play dates. No more inside information about my life. She started asking me personal information like we were friends again and I didn't want to share. I know that everything I tell her will be told to the 4 other moms in her circle (who I used to be friends with). She was the one who broke it off with me so why would I want to go back there? I am trying my best to take the high road and not tell anyone about what they did to me.

The new moms I am befriending keep asking me about the other moms and cliques and I just smile and say nothing. They have such a positive attitude toward the other moms and don't see the cliques and I don't want to ruin it for them. But I feel bad letting them find out by themselves and be victim to the B.S..... I don't know.

A Bully Almost Killed My Son

I kid you not, no sooner did I press "publish" on my last post about Ricky's nut allergy when the phone rang. It was the school secretary at Ricky's school telling me that Ricky took a bite of a classmate's peanut butter snack!!!!

Ricky's teacher followed the guidelines I left her and gave him a benadryl tablet immediately. They said his throat and mouth were burning and his stomach was bothering him. I woke up Teddy from his nap, and drove to school - of course hitting every red light, slow people, turned the wrong way, etc. They said he was breathing okay (so no need for the epipen at that point) and I told them to let him drink water to flush out the peanut butter.

When I arrived at the school office, there was Ricky sitting at a table. I put his coat on, and was telling everyone in the office that I was going to take him to the ER. My mom was meeting me at the school to grab Teddy. While mid-sentence, Ricky started vomiting - gallons - 4 times. His color changed and then I realized that my kid was REALLY IN TROUBLE. I thought I was watching him die.

In a nutshell, the secretary called 911 and they came. I rode in the ambulance with Ricky and asked him what happened. My son always asks if something has peanuts, nuts, or peanut butter in it before he eats it. He said that the Big Bully Boy - who sits at a different table in the class - walked up to him and said while holding out a peanut butter sandwich cracker, "Here Ricky, try this cracker. It has no peanuts or peanut butter in it." So my son took the cracker and took a bite.

Immediately, his throat and mouth were on fire and he started to feel like crap quickly. He told a classmate he had peanuts, and she told the teacher.

This Big Bully Boy is the same boy who had been bullying Ricky earlier this school year. Physically throwing him down at school and at sports, taunting, humiliation, etc. This kid almost killed my son.

The paramedic on the ambulance told me that his fire chief had a peanut allergy and he cooked a big barrel of stew for the firehouse and put 2 tablespoons of peanut oil in it - unaware of the chief's allergy. Well the chief took one bite and was in Intensive Care at the hospital for 4 days!!!

When we got to the hospital, there were many people in Ricky's room. The doctors all told me that since his teacher gave him a benadryl tablet immediately, it really saved his life. If minutes had gone by, his body would have followed the anaphylaxis route. That's how bad Ricky's allergy was.

Now I always knew that his allergy was bad, but I guess I thought it was moderate - probably denial. This was a HUGE wake up call. I'll have to write more later - there is so much to this story, and I was up from 1am to 5am this morning - I couldn't sleep with all my anger and frustration buzzing in my head. Mark and I met with the school principal yesterday and I'll write about that later. Just reviewing all this right now makes me want to lie down and sleep.

Let's Talk About Nuts

Ricky is allergic to peanuts and tree nuts and has an epipen. But besides eating it, he has symptoms just being near nuts. We suspected his allergy when he was a toddler - I gave him a peanut butter cracker and he said his mouth was burning and he cried after just one bite. Certain foods would really bother him after just taking one bite. So we had him tested, and sure enough, he is allergic to all nuts, dogs, cats, dust mites, dust mite poop, etc.

In preschool, I showed the teacher how to use the epipen and it was fine. She accidentally let Ricky eat a peanut butter cracker one day and didn't tell me. I picked him up and when I was buckling him into his carseat, his eyes were black and sunken in and he said his throat hurt and he couldn't breathe so well. He told me he took a bite of a peanut butter cracker. So I gave him water and went up to the teacher and asked her if that was true and she said yes, and sorry. So if I didn't go up to her she wasn't going to tell me - she was going to let Ricky have his reaction with me -with me not knowing. He could've gone into anaphylactic shock in the back seat with me not knowing why and maybe not realizing what was happening - so not knowing that he needed his epipen.

I liked this teacher too. She was fine otherwise, I just didn't like how she treated this situation - and it was obvious to me that she didn't fully understand Ricky's allergy.

Now I'm not a crazy mother. I may be a bit overprotective, but I have to be with Ricky's allergy.

Now in kindergarten they have full days - so there is lunch time. I spoke with the assistant principal and made arrangements for Ricky to have a designated seat and to tell the teacher to check the kids sitting near him - that they be moved if they have peanut butter. There are 3 kindergarten classes and one kid in each class is allergic - one to peanuts and the other just tree nuts. But only if eaten. Lucky Ricky also has contact sensitivity. :(

They have snack time too - and the teachers sent a note saying that snacks with nuts or peanut butter may not be brought to school. The worry is that they will get peanut butter on their hands, touch the same toys, or seats, and Ricky will be exposed, and will have a problem. So far, so good. No problems.

Now he is in kindergarten and is invited to birthday parties. Ricky's doctor said he has to have his epipen with him at all times - at play dates especially - she said - because people will accidentally give him something that has nuts or was made on the same equipment, and he will have a problem. So there you have it.

Ricky is invited to a birthday party tomorrow at Chuck E Cheese. Most of the boys at this age navigate their way around that place by themselves or with another pal. Their parents usually drop them off and come back later. Ricky likes me to play some of the games with him. I don't want to be a hovering mom, so my mom will actually take him the party and stay on the sidelines with his epipen and benadryl in her purse. Then I don't have to teach the hosting parents how to use it, etc. ("....and you just push this and stick the long needle at a 90 degree angle into Ricky's thigh - hard enough so it goes through his jeans...") I feel like I should take a break from being there so the boys don't think Ricky always has to have his mom around. Having Grandma hover is a good switch. This way Ricky is protected and I know he's in good hands.

When Ricky is older he will eventually learn how to use the epipen himself and will have to keep it in his pocket while he's at school. In the meantime, since he's just a kid, an adult has to be around to use it. Ricky hasn't been invited to play dates at all this school year - and I'm wondering if the epipen thing is the reason why. We've been so busy, it's almost better that we've hosted.

Besides the teacher, it's come to my attention from being dumped by Mandy that many people do not fully understand the severity of this allergy. I mean, a good friend of mine told me that I was overprotective and crazy for sending Ricky's epipen with him to a birthday party - and that I better not give the parents the epipen at play dates. I mean, she DUMPED me over this. You can read about here and here. What floored me is that she used to be a teacher. Obviously to me now, a crappy one. I realize now that I did a bad job explaining the details of Ricky's allergy to my mommy friends. When we'd get together, it is usually chaotic, and trying to keep up any kind of conversation is challenging. Talk is usually choppy.

When I was going through secondary infertility, I sought out bloggy moms who were going through the same thing. I got ideas from them, and they supported me too. I now realize that I should really try to find others out there who have kids with peanut/tree nut allergies - and learn how they handle situations at school, sports, and every day. So I'll be looking at groups, blogs, and boards. Just like SIF, I'm sure I'll find some people out there with lots of good ideas. I could use some.

Crazy Fridge, Crazy Me

Last week I woke up at 2am to the sound of what I thought was Mark snow-blowing in our kitchen. It was loud, crazy, and obnoxious. I ran into the kitchen, still asleep but standing, to find Mark wrestling with our refridgerator. Somehow it decided to make a horrible noise, like it was going to blow up, in the middle of the night. Happy the boys didn't wake up. Mark unplugged the darn thing - and sure enough, 2 days later, the fridge died.

So here I sit on my couch, waiting for the delivery men to come with our new fridge - a cheap (but nice and pretty) one to leave in a house that is for sale. I told Mark that we need to move asap because with our luck, the stove, washer, and dryer will all die too - and I really don't want to be spending any more money on this house. I would rather spend it on nice appliances for the other house.

Teddy woke up last night at 3:30 screaming and decided he wanted to watch Sesame Street. Mark had been up the whole time (he hasn't slept in days due to the 2 job offers he's received - they are both great and he doesn't know which one to take!) and he really needed to sleep so in order to get some quiet in the house, I had to give into Teddy and let him watch TV at 3:30am. He pretty much passed out sitting up eating his lunch, so he'll be taking a nice long nap. But boy am I tired!!! Up since 3:30 and no nap in my near future.

We finally found an outfit for Ricky to wear for his Christmas performance at school. I just have to remember to get the pants hemmed in time.

So things have been crazy to say the least. No Christmas photo for our cards taken yet, no presents wrapped, not done with Christmas shopping. There's only about one week left, right? I've been meaning to bake some cherry pies for over a week and never got the chance yet. I plan on baking my Christmas cookies sometime too.

I took Teddy to story time at the library yesterday. They don't read a book - so I don't know why they call it storytime but we just sing songs and finger plays and they play with a bunch of toys. Then we go upstairs to the kids' department and he plays there for a while. He really likes it. It's hard for me to watch him at story time, and not following what the librarian is doing and not really listening. The other kids are following along and participating, and he stands up and runs away from me. It's hard for me to hear the other tots say "mama" or "book" and Teddy says nothing to me and just does caveman language. It really makes me worry that there is something more than just a speech delay. We won't be able to test for anything like that til after he's 3.

I'm going to try to sign him up for Tots Gymnastics this afternoon. They can't do it over the phone so I have to go out in the frigid cold to register! Ugh. Hopefully there are still openings. For Ricky we are considering floor hockey, swimming, or karate - we have to decide soon because everything starts the first week of January. I seriously do not know how people with more than 2 kids do it with all the sports and stuff!!

Anyway, not really sure what the point of this post was. Just babble!

Mrs. Crabby Pants

Not sure why but I'm in a really foul mood today. I should be excited about Thanksgiving tomorrow - spending time with both sides of our family and all the yummy food I'll be scooping into my belly. But no, I'm just plain annoyed. Ever have a day when you're crabby for no good reason - just crabby? This doesn't happen to me often and I try not to let it happen. Today I find it kind of hard.

Had fun with the boys this morning here at home. Teddy had his speech therapy appointment (the therapist comes to our house every week - heavenly not to drive him somewhere) and I spent some time working with Ricky on his math and phonics. When Teddy gets up from his nap we have some errands to run and maybe tonight I'll get to see my sister and BIL and maybe bake a pie or two.

The speech therapy is good - Teddy sat with her for 45 minutes straight and played without losing focus or getting up to look for us. She is trying to teach him sign language ("more", etc.) and he signs here and there but not on a consistent basis. I listen to her play with him and do farm animal noises and car and truck noises and I think - this is what I do too - and it must not be enough - because we have to have someone come to our house and play with him and pay them. Kind of feel like a crappy mom about that!!

Had parent-teacher conferences yesterday for Ricky. He's doing well overall and is above average. Got every single math problem correct this year so far - his teacher says. He's great at phonics and mastered all the letter sounds and can read. He's not as interested in practicing how to write letters and numbers and this is where he may start talking to his neighbor and lose focus.

He will also tattle on other people when he is not involved - she said a lot of them do this. I told him to mind his own business except if a student is getting hurt. This tattling thing is so subjective!! I think it's okay for kids to tattle for other kids. Here is an example - the Big Bully took Ricky's Star Wars lunch bag during snack time and wrote all over it. This was when the bullying was still going on. Ricky was intimidated and didn't want to tell and the girl who sits across from him got up from her seat and told the teacher. Ricky was very grateful.

I have decided to stop being so grumpy. Starting now. I have a great husband and 2 adorable little boys and a family who loves me. Everyone is healthy, nobody is dying. We have a house and are renovating another. Fun family holidays are upon us. Lots to look forward to. So I'm slapping myself with the happy stick right now !!!! (*SLAP, *SLAP, *SLAP!!)

Spilling the Beans on Santa - Not Cool

Last week Ricky came home from school and told me that there was a first grader at recess who told everyone that there is no Santa Claus, no Easter bunny, and no tooth fairy!!!! At Ricky's school the kindergarteners and first graders have the same lunch and recess time.

My mind scrambled to find something good to say, and I was trying to control my face - all the while internally cursing this first grader in my head!!!!

I told Ricky that the boy probably is naughty so he doesn't get any presents from Santa, the Easter bunny, or the tooth fairy. I told him that these 3 (along with God and Jesus - we are Catholic) are all buddies and know what everyone is doing. So the fact that this boy has been going around telling all the kids not to believe is SUPER naughty and that boy probably won't make it on Santa's list this year.

I then told him not to tell this boy or anyone at school what I just told him. Also, not to talk about Santa, the tooth fairy, or the Easter bunny *at all*. I figured that no discussion is better.

The first grader who spilled the beans more than likely has older siblings and found out that way. I always figured Ricky would hear the truth at school at some point - just not soooo early!! I really hope Ricky believed what I told him. He was doubtful and I tried to restore his belief. I am hoping he still believes - that's the magic of being a kid - thinking things are possible. I really want him to really believe as long as possible.

I'm curious to know how other people found out as kids. I found out when I had the chicken pox when I was 5 and had to stay in bed while my family went to midnight mass Christmas Eve. I pretended to sleep but caught my grandma loading up my stocking. I heard all kinds of excuses, but knew better. My husband found out when he was little when his grandma said to him, "You still don't believe in Santa Claus, do you????" hehehhe.

Play Date Drama

Liam has a classmate named Kyle who we've known since preschool. His mom and I agree that they make good friends because she wants Kyle to pick up Ricky's good manners and behavior in school and I want Ricky to pick up Kyle's boyish roughness and physical abilities.

Kyle's mom and I have been trying to schedule an afterschool play date for a few weeks and during free play at school the two boys were playing with Legos. Ricky told me that Kyle took one of Ricky's "guys" and wouldn't give it back to Ricky. Ricky said he gave Kyle 3 choices.

1. Give the toy back to him

2. Ricky will tell the teacher - and then he will have to give the toy back to him anyways

3. No play date at our house

Kyle picked no play date!!!

I find it hilarious that Ricky gave his friend 3 choices (who does he think he is???). Yet, I was beside myself about what the hell I was going to tell Kyle's mom. Ricky didn't want the play date because he was still annoyed with Kyle for not returning the toy and he said that no play date was Kyle's decision. It was pretty convenient that Teddy's been sick since last week. I emailed her that I had to postpone once again.

Ricky asked me to call up Kyle's mom and tell her the story but I couldn't do that. I can't call up another mom and tell her how her son was mean to mine. I mean, I could - I should - but there's this hesitancy. I couldn't do it without feeling like an ass.

Anyways, Teddy is getting better so I will email her to play afterschool one day next week.

In another part of my life, we've been getting estimates from several painters to paint the other house. Then we have to get the floors done. I really want to be there for Christmas!!

A Spooktacular Day

Here is Ricky, my little vampire. He's all dressed up for school today. The 8th graders are hosting a carnival for the kindergarteners. This is a school tradition - I remember what a blast it was myself back in the day!

I volunteered to be one of the Room Moms this year - without knowing what that involved. It's okay, you just have to take the reins in the party planning for the whole year. All the teachers wanted us to do was bake decorated cupcakes. I had great aspirations - pouring over websites and I finally decided on 2 choices. Cupcakes with a bat on them or cupcakes with a frankenstein face on them.

Needless to say, I never got to make those kick-ass cupcakes I was dreaming of. We had a bad windstorm here for 2 days and Teddy came down with a fever for 3 days and I didn't feel like dragging him all over every Walmart and Target looking for the equipment I needed so I just made the funfetti cupcakes with a candy corn pumpkin on top of each with Halloween sprinkles all around. Is that lame?

There's a part of me that says that they're just kids and won't care or notice - and then there's a part of me that says that I'm a full-time stay-at-home mom and should strive to be awesome dammit! Anyways, there's nothing I can do about it now. The cupcakes are done - lame or not. I'm sure they're tasty though. In any case, I guess there's always next year!!

Random Bits

Our fence at the other house is finally being installed. I was so excited I bought the installation guys lunch today and threw in a dessert. Nothing too fancy, but thought I would do something nice. They work their butts off. In fact, I try to buy lunch for our carpenter and plumber once in a while too. I feel like they do a really good job to begin with, but the perks help, you know?

I just got off the phone with Rainbow to finally install the big giant monster of fun that we ordered back in May!! They will install it a week from today. HOORAY! At least Ricky and Teddy can enjoy whatever we have left of the good weather this year before the cold and snow arrives. We ordered a supersized clubhouse that has a big sandbox underneath, and I won't even bother ordering the sand until the spring. I nearly crapped in my pants when the Rainbow lady told me I need 1,000 pounds of sand for that sucker. I guess I'll just order it from a landscaper and I'm afraid to know how much that's going to cost. They could have installed it a few days after we bought it in May, but we wanted to have the new fence put it in to prevent people from playing on it, getting hurt, and suing us. Very over-the-top concern, but there nonetheless.

I'm really enjoying my mother's retirement. Isn't that a sad thing to say? My mom's always been a big help from day one, but since she's been retired she's been such a big help with the boys. This morning she went shopping with me and then we had lunch out. Right now, Teddy is taking his nap, and my mom is going to Ricky's school to pick him up. I would normally have to wake Teddy up to pick up Ricky, but not today. Then she's going to take him to go get a snack before she drops him off. That is so nice. I just wish my aunt was still around to galavant with us.

We were invited to a Halloween party this year and haven't figured out our costumes yet. We normally host, but since our house is on the market, we decided it wouldn't be such a good idea to trash it. Then we got an invitation from our friends. They used to do it years ago, and then they moved to Hawaii for a few years and they just moved back this year. I have no clue what to be - part of me always wanted to be Snow White. I have the black hair, right? I'm Asian, so I can't be anyone who is blonde. We still need to figure out Ricky's costume too. I'm his Room Mom, so I have to make decorated cupcakes for the party - which the 8th graders do for the kindergarteners. I can't wait. I may wear my costume to his party.

Meanwhile, I got a flyer sent home in Ricky's folder for a get-together at a local bar for all the Kindergarten Moms. No clue who organized it, it just had the information and "no need to RSVP, just show up." I am really starting to think (in my old age) that people tend to like other people more when they don't know them very well. I think that after I got burned from those mommy friends that I really want to keep a distance from the other moms at school in order to preserve the peace for Ricky. We will be social with the other parents, of course, but not overly. I would like to know the other parents of boys in Ricky's class especially, because of all the play dates. But not hang out with them. I have enough friends of my own, and I haven't even seen a majority of them this year!!

Teddy's first speech therapy appointment will be next week. Meanwhile, he continues using his own little ways of communicating when he is happy (claps/smiles), upset (grunts, yells), is hungry (brings me his empty cups), wants to eat or wants a hug (tugs at my leg). He continues to be Linus - dragging his stinky blanket all over the house. It is so sad that he still is at a 12 month speech level (I think - but will ask the therapist) but that is my guess.

Enough for now. Hoping for a great weekend!

Friday Musings

Well I met with Ricky's teacher yesterday after school and she is very aware of the situation. She said that she knows it won't make me feel better, but apparently the Big Bully Boy targets everyone in class, not just Ricky. She had more of the attitude of "they're 5 & 6 years old , what can you do, this is normal." She showed me a Bee-havioral chart in the shape of a bee hive that has everyone's name and if you are bad, your name gets put in the hive. What the hell does that mean?? Like this kid is really going to care?

Ricky's teacher said that the Big Bully's mom is aware of his behavior and he is a "hands-on" kid. Well he better keep his hands off of Ricky!!! I like this teacher, but the fact that she is soooo young, makes me skeptical that she can handle this situation the right way. In my school days (back in the 70s & 80s - cough cough), bullies were dealt with in a no-nonsense manner - none of this sissy crap. My teachers made sure they didn't give bullies extra attention or take away from the quality of the lessons. Not sure this is really happening in Ricky's class..... too gentle. Anyways, Mark and I have decided that if there is no improvement, there will be a meeting with the principal.

Meanwhile, I should be cleaning right now. I have to pick up Ricky in 2 hours and then we're meeting an old grammar school classmate at the park with her 2 boys. Her 2 boys are the exact same age as mine - she has a boy in kindergarten and a tot who is 3 months younger than Teddy. You can't get any more perfect for a playdate. She also had SIF and had 2 miscarriages like me so her second and third are quite the miracles. She threw in the towel (like me) and they both happened. I'm still getting to know her better - we weren't that close as kids, but we're starting a friendship now. We talked a lot at our class reunion earlier this year and had a playdate last week. I'm going to wait a while before I tell her what happened to me with my mean mommy friends. If I tell her now while she doesn't know me too well, she might believe that bullshit! It will be nice to have a decent mommy friend in the neighborhood. Her son goes to a different school - but also Catholic.

Gotta go fold mountains of laundry now!

Trying Not to be the Annoying Mom

Today I have a meeting with Ricky's teacher after school to discuss Ricky being bullied by the bigger boy I mentioned in my earlier post. I'll call him the Big Bully Boy. Ricky's teacher is very young, maybe 22 years old and graduated from this grammar school herself in 2002. She is very nice, and I like her, but I sympathize with her because she certainly has her hands full - of kids and the crazy parents. I will go easy on her, but I definitely want her to watch the Big Bully Boy and what he does to Ricky on a daily basis.

Ricky had a rough first week of kindergarten. I think transitioning to full days every day was a big change, as well as a new class of kids and a teacher. There were many new kids too. All his friends were also placed in the two other classes. Ricky used to love going to school and now he doesn't want to go, and he actually pretended to be sick last week. I later realized this was after the Big Bully fought with him over his gummies (when all I saw was a shredded piece of plastic - what used to be the sandwich bag). That must have freaked him out. Anyways, there is no way my son can learn when he's being verbally and physically harassed. My husband and I have also seen the Big Bully Boy come after Ricky at soccer practice - throwing him down, punching Ricky's soccer ball out of his arms, etc.

Meanwhile, I have left a voicemail for the coordinator who is supposed to visit our house and give Teddy a speech and language evaluation and I haven't received a call back. Funny, this is the 3rd voicemail I have left for business/personal purposes and nobody seems to ever want to call me back. What is wrong with people - I guess I have to call again!

Starting Fresh

Has it really been a month since I last blogged? Shame on me! Things are different in the Chipper Librarian household. This is what I've been up to (not that anyone cares):

1. Ricky just started Kindergarten. It's a Catholic school, so he had to get used to the uniform. He was a bit nervous about tucking in his shirt, so he spent the first week not drinking anything so he didn't have to pee - so he didn't have to tuck in his shirt!! I spent a lot of time telling him about kidney stones and dehydration. Hopefully this will pass!

There is a big kid in his class who got held back and is fond of picking on Ricky. For the first week, this kid was demanding that Ricky give him his gummies for snack time every day. I knew something was going on when I would find a torn piece of plastic (the remains of a ziplock sandwich bag) in his lunch bag. Last week things died down and he said it was okay. He just hides his gummies and eats them when the boy isn't looking. UGH!!!

On a lighter note, last week Ricky was grinning all day and night after school because he overheard all the girls in his class say that he was cute and was the smartest kid in class. Nothing better than a boost to the self esteem! When he's down, I'll remind him of this and it always cheers him up.

2. All the popular kids (the moms I don't hang out with anymore) all ended up in the same class. Hmmmm....I wonder how *that* happened. There are tons of kids/parents now at drop off and pick-up and I hardly ever cross paths with them so that's good. It is sad to think that I used to go on play dates with these women and their kids, and our social calendar was pretty active. Now, my phone is silent and I spend many days not talking to anyone and waiting for Mark to come home from work. I have to admit, it gets lonely at times. But I remind myself that it's better to be alone than with bad company! I don't need those petty bitches in my life!

3. I'm applying for Illinois' All Kids program for Teddy - for his speech therapy. It takes 40 days to be approved. Supposedly it will cover 100%.....it's better than nothing! All my days of over-annunciating are not having the results I've been looking for. All he says is "mamama" and "dadadada' but basically it's the same as last year. I can tell he understands us, but otherwise he is the same baby - just bigger, chubbier, and runs all over the place. No new communication. We are so very worried that it's more than just a delay. The pediatrician told me that this is genetic - and my husband and nephew both did not speak til age 3. My MIL and SIL have assured me many times not to worry.....so I'm trying hard not to.

4. Our house is still on the (crappy) market. One woman gave us a very crappy verbal offer and we almost accepted it but then she ended up pursuing some other house that was listed $90K lower than ours! Oh well....

I think those are the major things. Just trying to enjoy every day with my boys. They are growing up so fast!

The Dreaded Guest List

Ricky turned 5 over the weekend and I still can't believe that MY BABY IS FIVE!! Anyways, we had 4 days of celebration - Thursday we had a party for him with all 15 boys from preschool at one of those jumpy places, he had a party at school Friday, a small celebration here at home Saturday with just us, and a big family party for him Sunday. We're all wiped out!! I think there's a Berenstain Bears book that should be called, "Too Much Birthday."

The weird part about his birthday was that he wanted to invite all the boys from preschool. We couldn't invite all the boys and girls - because that was too many kids for the jumpy place. So we didn't invite our other friends who have girls or boys, or boys who don't go to preschool with Ricky. We didn't invite a lot our friends and that felt wrong and very strange.

While adults were free at the jumpy place, our party was for 15 kids - and that's exactly how many we had. Each additional kid was $10. It was a drop off or stay party for the parents. There are a few friends we would have loved to invite but they live in the suburbs and would have had to bring the younger siblings along - which would have meant 12 additional kids to pay for that were just siblings. So we didn't even bother inviting them. It was hard to draw the line and I hope there are no hard feelings. If Ricky had a summer birthday, it would be great to just have a huge barbeque bash at a forest preserve and invite everyone.

I talked to some of my mommy friends about it and apologized for not inviting them and they all assured me that no offense was taken. My friends who have girls said that they plan on having all-girls parties - or all girls parties with only 4 girls invited. I have a friend whose kids are older - in 3rd and 4th grade - and she assured me that it's normal practice among all the kids and everyone usually understands. But even still, there's a part of me that can't help feeling bad.

There are so many parts of Ricky's birthday I want to blog about - I'll have to do it in bits and pieces.

Taun Taun Sleeping Bag Rocks Ricky's 5th Birthday

My sister and brother in law ordered this from thinkgeek.com. I've seen it before as a link sent on facebook as a hahaha thing, but this is totally cool. The zipper is a lightsaber, the head of the taun taun is the perfect pillow, and it's just downright cool. Ricky sleeps inside it on top of his bed and during the day he snuggles in it while he watches cartoons or plays video games. He's been saying it's his favorite present *every single day* since he got it. It's the perfect present for the young padawan - too cute.

Ricky's Drawing of a.....a....ummm

The other night we were all sitting around the TV and Ricky was drawing and coloring. He proudly showed us this drawing. Mark and I laughed til we cried and he told us what this is - but you know what this really looks like! This is a picture of a walker on Star Wars, the Empire Strikes Back. See the guy sitting up top?

Mark sent this pic out to our friends and family to see if anyone could correctly guess what this was - and nobody got it. It's hard!! hahahaha!!