Sort of Losing My Mind

Things are super busy and I thought I had a good handle on everything until I realized yesterday that I sent Ricky to school the previous week on picture day in his best outfit but forgot to send in the photo order!! Duh. And then I also realized that I forgot to send in Teddy's papers for his transition to the public school system for preschool - which he is supposed to start in January! Bad mommy.

Today I meet with Ricky's teacher for parent teacher conferences. This should be good - she is nice and Ricky is doing well in school. I am curious to see what she has to say. All is good from his reports, but I want to know what she says. He says he fits in and he listens. His papers are always 100%. I just hope he is happy in school - since it's new and everything.

Ricky attended his first birthday party from kids from his old school the other day. It was a zoo and there are a few kids in particular who are mean-spirited. A few things happened but in general I don't miss those boys (with the exception of about 5 who are Ricky's friends). The parents were nice and were curious about the school change and I told them how it all happened - with Zac's speech therapy and the learning about the awesome peanut/tree nut accommodations. I spoke to another peanut dad at the party and told him about Ricky's new school and the peanut stuff. I hope that school changes its ways or something bad will happen - again.

Busy Bee, Busy Me

I laugh at myself for claiming to be "back" only to not blog for the entire summer. Really, just one blog entry this whole year? How sad of me.

We had a great summer - everyone was healthy, no family members in the hospital, no accidents. We even managed to take a few days and took the boys to Wisconsin Dells. It made them very happy. They are both water people and love the pool so much so it was perfect. Mark started a new job in May and so far, so good.

Ricky started first grade and after the first week of school, Teddy's speech therapist told me that another nearby private school offered kids from K-8th grade speech therapy up to 3 times a week for its students. I called the principal and she confirmed this was true so I asked what their accommodations were for peanut/tree nut allergy kids and it was amazing what she told me. I'll have to write a post just about that topic because it is wonderful all by itself.

Based on the peanut/nut policy alone, we decided to transfer him immediately. Mark and I came in and met with the principal, toured the school, and pulled Ricky out that very day. He has now gone to the new school for 7 school days, has made a bunch of friends, and says he loves it. It's been pretty stressful, but I am relieved.

I am so blessed that my mom is retired and helps me with the boys. Besides school, Ricky has swimming lessons, karate lesson, cello lesson, and children's orchestra rehearsals every week. The cello was entirely his idea. It's great and I am thrilled he enjoys it. That just started the last few weeks. New school, new instrument. His teacher also heads the children's orchestra. 10 girls and 3 boys. Everyone plays violin except Ricky who is the only cello. He doesn't mind - he gets to sit. I personally love the cello with its low, soulful.

Teddy has speech therapy, developmental therapy, occupational therapy, Speech/OT playgroup, and Toddler Gymnastics every week. He is just a toddler but I already feel what some parents of older kids may have with 2 kids in sports and activities.

My boss has asked me to work 40 hours a month now (was 4 hours a month for the past year) so it's quite an adjustment. The job is nice and easy but it's the logistics of getting everything done with the kids and house and the running to and from that gets me frazzled. I feel like I'm becoming an old lady who obsesses over little things. I actually bought a momAgenda to keep me organized about where I need to be, where the kids need to be, and everything in between. I love it.

Teddy's speech is really getting better. He is using a lot more words and now we're working on putting 2 words together to make a sentence. It's so sad when I see a kid who is the same age asking his mom for this and that at the store while my Teddy uses one word here and there and grunts. He just had his annual meeting with all his therapists this past Tuesday and they recommended the Speech/OT playgroup which consists of 9 kids all the same age who have speech delays. He did a great job his first time this week. He will go to preschool in January already! He's not even potty trained yet but I guess that doesn't matter.

Anyways, it's a new start for Ricky at this new school. So glad he is liking it. Hoping for a great school year.

I'm Back!!!

I haven't blogged since last December when Ricky had the peanut butter scare. So many things have happened since and I just never got blogging back into my mommy routine. I also have not read any of my favorite bloggy friend blogs and I am hoping all the people I read about are fine. I plan on doing lots of catch-up.

It is now May and I can't believe I've been off blogger for that long. In a nutshell, here are the highlights of my life:

1. We had a good Christmas despite the roll of bad luck.

2. Ricky recovered from peanut butter attack. I spend hours at his school in meetings with the principal and assistant principal and I trained almost 20 lunch/recess parents on how to use an epi-pen.

3. Mark fractured his foot! He is still wearing the boot.

4. Mark got a new job!

5. My dad and stepmom visited for 2 weeks and stayed in my house. Nice to catch up with dear old dad!

6. Teddy had a medical diagnostic test by a world renown neurological pediatrician, and 5 therapists last week. After worrying that his speech delay is a sign of a brain problem or some form of autism, we are thrilled beyond belief that their conclusion is just an isolated speech delay and nothing more. Good news! Now Teddy is getting speech and development therapies weekly and now I am waiting for him to get approved to attend City Kids - which is a center where he can get occupational therapy for sensory stuff.

7. I'm a proud mama so bear with me while I brag about my kid a bit!

Ricky is really thriving in karate class. He is practicing his kata more than the arm pit farts now. He will have a belt test in 2 weeks - but I'm guessing he'll get stripes instead of a red belt. You have to be flawless to just skip the 5 stripes and get the belt - but we'll see.

Ricky also brought home a near perfect straight A report card. I couldn't be happier. Of course my family members rewarded him for each A and he was more than glad to fill his piggy bank. As a kid, my sister and I both got compensated for each A. Besides enjoying the achievement and doing it for yourself, it was nice to save up for that special thing.

8. Teddy turned 2 and Ricky turned 6!

Well those are the highlights since my last post. Looking forward to warmer weather and playing outside more. We're going to a play date this afternoon with about 5 other moms. Am I the only crazy person who will only invite 2 moms maximum- over? I think 5 moms with their kids is too many people - especially when they have little kids too. The 6 year old boys can take care of themselves though - so maybe it's not so bad.

I have bumped into Mandy (the mean mom) at birthday parties a few times and at the last one she was VERY VERY nice. I was nice back to her, of course, but after what happened, I just want to keep it cordial. No more play dates. No more inside information about my life. She started asking me personal information like we were friends again and I didn't want to share. I know that everything I tell her will be told to the 4 other moms in her circle (who I used to be friends with). She was the one who broke it off with me so why would I want to go back there? I am trying my best to take the high road and not tell anyone about what they did to me.

The new moms I am befriending keep asking me about the other moms and cliques and I just smile and say nothing. They have such a positive attitude toward the other moms and don't see the cliques and I don't want to ruin it for them. But I feel bad letting them find out by themselves and be victim to the B.S..... I don't know.

A Bully Almost Killed My Son

I kid you not, no sooner did I press "publish" on my last post about Ricky's nut allergy when the phone rang. It was the school secretary at Ricky's school telling me that Ricky took a bite of a classmate's peanut butter snack!!!!

Ricky's teacher followed the guidelines I left her and gave him a benadryl tablet immediately. They said his throat and mouth were burning and his stomach was bothering him. I woke up Teddy from his nap, and drove to school - of course hitting every red light, slow people, turned the wrong way, etc. They said he was breathing okay (so no need for the epipen at that point) and I told them to let him drink water to flush out the peanut butter.

When I arrived at the school office, there was Ricky sitting at a table. I put his coat on, and was telling everyone in the office that I was going to take him to the ER. My mom was meeting me at the school to grab Teddy. While mid-sentence, Ricky started vomiting - gallons - 4 times. His color changed and then I realized that my kid was REALLY IN TROUBLE. I thought I was watching him die.

In a nutshell, the secretary called 911 and they came. I rode in the ambulance with Ricky and asked him what happened. My son always asks if something has peanuts, nuts, or peanut butter in it before he eats it. He said that the Big Bully Boy - who sits at a different table in the class - walked up to him and said while holding out a peanut butter sandwich cracker, "Here Ricky, try this cracker. It has no peanuts or peanut butter in it." So my son took the cracker and took a bite.

Immediately, his throat and mouth were on fire and he started to feel like crap quickly. He told a classmate he had peanuts, and she told the teacher.

This Big Bully Boy is the same boy who had been bullying Ricky earlier this school year. Physically throwing him down at school and at sports, taunting, humiliation, etc. This kid almost killed my son.

The paramedic on the ambulance told me that his fire chief had a peanut allergy and he cooked a big barrel of stew for the firehouse and put 2 tablespoons of peanut oil in it - unaware of the chief's allergy. Well the chief took one bite and was in Intensive Care at the hospital for 4 days!!!

When we got to the hospital, there were many people in Ricky's room. The doctors all told me that since his teacher gave him a benadryl tablet immediately, it really saved his life. If minutes had gone by, his body would have followed the anaphylaxis route. That's how bad Ricky's allergy was.

Now I always knew that his allergy was bad, but I guess I thought it was moderate - probably denial. This was a HUGE wake up call. I'll have to write more later - there is so much to this story, and I was up from 1am to 5am this morning - I couldn't sleep with all my anger and frustration buzzing in my head. Mark and I met with the school principal yesterday and I'll write about that later. Just reviewing all this right now makes me want to lie down and sleep.

Let's Talk About Nuts

Ricky is allergic to peanuts and tree nuts and has an epipen. But besides eating it, he has symptoms just being near nuts. We suspected his allergy when he was a toddler - I gave him a peanut butter cracker and he said his mouth was burning and he cried after just one bite. Certain foods would really bother him after just taking one bite. So we had him tested, and sure enough, he is allergic to all nuts, dogs, cats, dust mites, dust mite poop, etc.

In preschool, I showed the teacher how to use the epipen and it was fine. She accidentally let Ricky eat a peanut butter cracker one day and didn't tell me. I picked him up and when I was buckling him into his carseat, his eyes were black and sunken in and he said his throat hurt and he couldn't breathe so well. He told me he took a bite of a peanut butter cracker. So I gave him water and went up to the teacher and asked her if that was true and she said yes, and sorry. So if I didn't go up to her she wasn't going to tell me - she was going to let Ricky have his reaction with me -with me not knowing. He could've gone into anaphylactic shock in the back seat with me not knowing why and maybe not realizing what was happening - so not knowing that he needed his epipen.

I liked this teacher too. She was fine otherwise, I just didn't like how she treated this situation - and it was obvious to me that she didn't fully understand Ricky's allergy.

Now I'm not a crazy mother. I may be a bit overprotective, but I have to be with Ricky's allergy.

Now in kindergarten they have full days - so there is lunch time. I spoke with the assistant principal and made arrangements for Ricky to have a designated seat and to tell the teacher to check the kids sitting near him - that they be moved if they have peanut butter. There are 3 kindergarten classes and one kid in each class is allergic - one to peanuts and the other just tree nuts. But only if eaten. Lucky Ricky also has contact sensitivity. :(

They have snack time too - and the teachers sent a note saying that snacks with nuts or peanut butter may not be brought to school. The worry is that they will get peanut butter on their hands, touch the same toys, or seats, and Ricky will be exposed, and will have a problem. So far, so good. No problems.

Now he is in kindergarten and is invited to birthday parties. Ricky's doctor said he has to have his epipen with him at all times - at play dates especially - she said - because people will accidentally give him something that has nuts or was made on the same equipment, and he will have a problem. So there you have it.

Ricky is invited to a birthday party tomorrow at Chuck E Cheese. Most of the boys at this age navigate their way around that place by themselves or with another pal. Their parents usually drop them off and come back later. Ricky likes me to play some of the games with him. I don't want to be a hovering mom, so my mom will actually take him the party and stay on the sidelines with his epipen and benadryl in her purse. Then I don't have to teach the hosting parents how to use it, etc. ("....and you just push this and stick the long needle at a 90 degree angle into Ricky's thigh - hard enough so it goes through his jeans...") I feel like I should take a break from being there so the boys don't think Ricky always has to have his mom around. Having Grandma hover is a good switch. This way Ricky is protected and I know he's in good hands.

When Ricky is older he will eventually learn how to use the epipen himself and will have to keep it in his pocket while he's at school. In the meantime, since he's just a kid, an adult has to be around to use it. Ricky hasn't been invited to play dates at all this school year - and I'm wondering if the epipen thing is the reason why. We've been so busy, it's almost better that we've hosted.

Besides the teacher, it's come to my attention from being dumped by Mandy that many people do not fully understand the severity of this allergy. I mean, a good friend of mine told me that I was overprotective and crazy for sending Ricky's epipen with him to a birthday party - and that I better not give the parents the epipen at play dates. I mean, she DUMPED me over this. You can read about here and here. What floored me is that she used to be a teacher. Obviously to me now, a crappy one. I realize now that I did a bad job explaining the details of Ricky's allergy to my mommy friends. When we'd get together, it is usually chaotic, and trying to keep up any kind of conversation is challenging. Talk is usually choppy.

When I was going through secondary infertility, I sought out bloggy moms who were going through the same thing. I got ideas from them, and they supported me too. I now realize that I should really try to find others out there who have kids with peanut/tree nut allergies - and learn how they handle situations at school, sports, and every day. So I'll be looking at groups, blogs, and boards. Just like SIF, I'm sure I'll find some people out there with lots of good ideas. I could use some.