If You Are Crazy and You Know It HIT MY CAR!

The party was great. Twenty-two first grade boys - are we crazy? Yes we are. Everything went well. Some parents stayed and it was nice because the bowling alley is a public place, afterall - we were responsible for all these kids. I asked my cousin and her friend to help me watch them so they sat there and just watched the boys and told me if anyone was wandering off. Then after 2 hours we moved to the lounge where the breakdancers performed. They were very good. We ate cupcakes and I ordered pizza and drinks for the dancers. Then the breakdancers taught all our little guests how to dance. I told Ricky I expect to see some moves at home!

So it's official: I am not driving the first Thursday of every month if I can help it. Last month, on the first Thursday, that crazy woman hit me. Yesterday, I was ONE BLOCK away from my house with Ricky's BFF in the backseat on our way to pick up Ricky and I moved to the side to allow two cars to pass who were coming from the opposite direction. The man wanted me to go, so I went, and I had no idea that the black car behind me decided to just GO. So she crashed into me. We pulled to the side and she was older than me and crying and clutching her arm. She said she thought she was having a heart attack and was on her way to the hospital!!! I offered to call her an ambulance or to drive her to the hospital myself (even though I really didn't want to and would be super inconvenienced - but I can't let someone just die in the street!). So we exchanged information and went on our way.

My car now has a minor scratch about 4 feet long. Uggghhhhhh........we're not going to bother to fix it. It's not even that noticeable. I am surprised I didn't have more damage - it seemed like she really smashed into me. LUCKY in a very un-lucky situation.

The first incident a month ago happened about 5 blocks away from my house. This one was 1 block away. I have concluded that the women in my neighborhood should not be driving (crazy & thinking she is having a heart attack) and have poor judgement.

Anyway, at least we are all okay. I am excited about this weekend - seeing my cousin's play with my sister and BIL and taking the boys to the train show.

And now I have even more DVDs I have to watch and no clue when I will watch them:

Tree of Life
Contagion
Midnight in Paris
Anonymous
Friends With Benefits
Parenthood Season 2

Hopefully I'll be able to sit down with Mark tonight and watch one so we can return it to the library.

In other news, I've been asked to moderate a new book club aimed at hip-ish, young-ish people in their 20s, 30s, and 40s. I'm excited about this and can't wait to get it started. We'll be meeting in restaurants and bars. Should be fun.

Why I Suck at Being a Public Librarian

I am the worst person with accents even though I grew up in a house full of them. I even had a hard time at Heathrow airport in London when the customs agent was questioning me. That's when you know you have a problem.

Tonight at the library, I was reminded of how much I suck at understanding people. An Asian lady had to ask me 8 times if we had East of Eden on DVD and I just couldn't understand her and asked her to write it down. She was visibly annoyed and once I read her request on paper, I felt like an ass.

On a separate note, I had the opportunity to see a woman's crotch from behind because she had a 6 inch rip at her crotch. I was tempted to tell her about it but it seemed like she knew and didn't care. I'm sure she must have felt some kind of draft with such a large hole and our super duper air conditioning system. Ew.

Library Adventures, Part 4

A public librarian serves the needs of the public he or she serves. There are days like today that make me use every thing I have to NOT hang up on a patron.

This man called and said that a new dvd we have is still being processed (in tech getting a barcode, security case, cataloged, etc.) and he wanted to come in *right now* to pick it up. It was dvd on Athens by PBS. If something is still being cataloged, we don't care if Jesus comes to the door - you cannot check it out of the library.

I told him that he needs to wait until the dvd is finished being processed before he can check it out, but I can put a hold on it for him. I asked for his name, but when I typed it in the database, 3 records for the same name came. I wanted to verify which record was him and he blew up - yelling at me! He yelled at me for "questioning" him. I gritted my teeth and calmly reminded him that I was just trying to HELP him to ensure that the correct record is used for him. DUH.

I cannot believe how unhappy and neurotic people are - and there are days that I hate the fact that this job puts me in a position where I cannot hang up on them or tell them to fuck off. I would *so* love to do that to this guy.

And yesterday there was a teen boy who walked around the room picking his nose and eating his boogers - at least 7 times repeatedly. Despite the fact that he saw me glaring at him, he still did it. In a weirdo sort of way. I am sure this kid gets his head flushed at school. Today I told my favorite security guard what he missed yesterday and he got mad and asked if the security guard on duty confronted him. I said no - picking your nose and eating your boogers is not exactly a security threat.

Library Adventures, Part 3

Just when I thought I've seen it all here, something happened when I worked last Thursday.

I was sitting at the Adult Fiction desk in the basement and had no idea that the following was taking place upstairs in Circulation:

Apparently, an older man burst through the front door of the library and locked himself in the Staff Kitchen and took a shit *everywhere*. When he came out, his pants, underwear, and excrement were around his ankles and he left a trail for about 20 feet before someone intervened. Many policemen were here and some said that this man had actually done this to a few businesses in the area before.

Very sad. I learned from my supervisor that this man was about to start a road trip and his family was waiting in the car. I also learned that he has done this before in 2 other businesses in the neighborhood. So I guess he's not the Crapping Bandit I thought he was. Time for Depends. Poor guy. How very embarassing. Don't know who to feel bad for more - this guy or our maintenance guy who had to clean up the mess!

Library Adventures Part 2

Yesterday will be known forever in my mind as "Gross Day" because in the 4 hours that I worked at the library, I was continually encountering gross incidents. I understand this happens once in a while when you work, but one can only take so much in a 4 hour window. Really, there were only 2 major incidents but they were pretty bad.

1. When I came to the AV desk to sit down, I noticed someone had placed an un-opened (thank god) maxi-pad on my desk.

2. A mom approached me with a book saying that her 14 year old son couldn't read the book because about 7 pages were stuck together with BOOGERS. She even fanned the pages of the book so I could see the pages stuck together. Thank god I had already eaten my lunch!

I am wondering why and how the maxi-pad managed to make its way onto my desk. I wasn't about to put it in the Lost & Found - because who would go there - inquiring with hope - that her maxi-pad would be there?

The Book of Boogers is pretty self-explanatory. You take pre-teens and they are at that stage where anything with boogers is exponentially funny. Still pretty gross. I felt bad for the person in Technical Services with the job of cleaning that up. What's next - someone wiping their butt with a book? The disrespect for books these days...

Whoa Think Twice, Just Another Day for You & Me in Paradise

Another librarian in my department was offended that our resident homeless man was playing with the zipper on his pants for too long and she complained to the Administrator (=big cheese). The Administrator told the homeless man that unless he is looking at books/magazines, etc. he has to stop using the library as his hotel.

I know I have complained about his BO several times, but this is SO SAD. I spent all night at the library wondering what he was doing rather than sleeping in the middle of Fiction like he usually does every day since I started working there 5 months ago.

I was afraid to give him some of my dinner thinking that he would then expect me to give him food every time I saw him - just like Max, our neighborhood outdoor cat. I regret not trying harder and I just hope that he found a new place to hang out in peace. I actually miss seeing him - and yeah BO and all. =(

How Can She Be Married to Him???

For the last few months, there has been a man in his 50s coming into the library, using the internet 10-minute express terminals and having a tantrum maybe once or twice a month. He is always wearing the same blue t-shirt and jean shorts. Always. Yours truly has been the lucky librarian on duty to witness these lovely fits.

One time he was pissed that there were kids using 2 of the Express terminals and was shouting at me (yes, shouting) that I needed to banish them to the kids' department. I asked him if they were bothering him? He didn't answer me but continued yelling that those computers are for adults only. He started to piss me off - and the children's extremely tall and muscley father stood up - maybe 3 feet over him. I told the man that these kids are patrons also, that their parents pay the taxes for the library as well, and as long as they are not disturbing anyone, they have the right to be there. I actually told him that he needed to calm down or I would call the security guard and have him escorted out of the library. I couldn't believe I was saying that to someone. But I had to. He kept yelling for a bit, but when the kids' huge dad looked over, he cowered and angrily sulked.

Then last week he came in again and started yelling that there was an express computer that had a reservation on it. He said that they should not be reserved. He is right but that doesn't mean he can be an a-hole about it. It was a glitch in the system. He was the only person using the computers - and there were a total of 5. He was standing with Barbara, an old co-worker of mine who works in technical services. She is a cataloger. She is a really nice lady. I thought she was helping him - and I was rolling my eyes at her and my face said "Do you believe this a-hole? What a jerk!!".

I couldn't believe it when Barbara left the library for the day with this guy. The mean sweaty guy in the blue t-shirt. I then realized that the a-hole is her husband!! She could have done better than that! She has 2 kids (in their 20s) with this man and I wonder how she lives with someone who gets so upset over such little things and is verbally abusive. I think I would die if Mark came into my place of employment and had tantrums and wore the same smelly outfit day in and day out.

The funny part is that she didn't seem the least bit embarassed by his behavior - she didn't tell him to shush or anything. She acted like that behavior is acceptable. She is a nutt herself, I guess.

I guess my question is what the hell did she ever see in this guy? Maybe she loves being abused and gets turned on by it. Who knows? This part time library gig has showed me how looney people are and I think I've stopped being surprised at what I see, hear, and UGH...smell.

Library Adventures

In the last 2 days that I have worked at the library, patrons have approached me and turned in the following items:

1. a blank check left at the xerox machine (not signed but still bad enough)
2. a full wallet (I mean thick with money and cards)
3. a cell phone (a really nice one)

I know it's hot outside and all, but people, let's be a little smarter!! I am just happy that people in this community are honest enough to turn in the stuff.

Also, when I worked a few nights ago, a female patron in her 60s approached my desk and told me that the handicapped stall in the ladies' bathroom had a problem - lots of TP everywhere and she suspected a plumbing issue. I didn't investigate as I was afraid and we have our own staff restrooms. Besides, bathroom duty was not on my job description and I wasn't going after extra credit. So I emailed the maintenance guy with the problem. He fixed it but was utterly disgusted by what he saw. He is not saying hello to me anymore.

And the Winner is...Butt Girl

My work day did not start out well. Because of the heat, I decided to wear a simple cotton dress to work. We have rain and wind today and as I was walking toward the entrance to the library, my dress blew up in the back - and the 60 year old man walking behind me got a clear view of my ass. In a thong.

He came in and actually came up to me a few times and asked questions. I do believe that my face is still purple-red - even after a few hours.

I was pretty annoyed in general and that continued when I observed that some of my co-workers were in bad moods. My mood did a total 360 however, when I logged onto my work email and discovered that I won an Ipod from our summer reading club contest for staff. Yay!

I never wanted an Ipod - I don't commute on a train anymore now that I'm a mommy and all. And I can't very well use it during the day and completely ignore my toddler. WHAT?? WHAT DID YOU SAY?? YOU WANT DIEGO?? I'll have to see if I can somehow hook it up to my car stereo - now THAT would be cool...