Sleeping Well Again, Thanks to Richard Ferber!!

It took one entire year to for me to sleep 4 hours straight at night! I never thought it would happen - I cried out of sheer exhaustion many times. This is one of the many reasons why I stopped blogging last year. No energy to do one single thing.

My baby goes to sleep awake, in his crib at 7p.m. and gets up at 6a.m. He may get up 0 -3 times in the night and may need me or Mark to go in his room to comfort for him for a few minutes. But folks, this is GREAT!!!

I had been getting 3-5 hours of sleep each night - every night - for one whole year. With no naps during the day!

Teddy was a poor sleeper since we brought him home from the hospital. He was used to sleeping in his swing and now that he turned a year, he was way too big and it wasn't safe to put him there anymore. The last few months have been hard - getting up several times a night to rock him back to sleep. He used to need to be nursed back to sleep several times throughout the night - that turned into having a bottle to go back to sleep.

Utter hell for a girl who needs 9 hours a night. Since Ricky dropped his nap, I don't get a nap - so I would be operating on 3+ hours of sleep day after day. There were some days I didn't drive because it just wasn't a good idea. I was a total zombie.

I "Ferberized" Teddy and I really have to say that it saved my life. Now Mark and I are better rested and have more time for each other in the evening. It wasn't easy listening to Teddy cry but seriously, it only took 2 days and he was only crying for 5 minutes for a few more days - then no crying at all.

The book has a guide for how many minutes you should wait before going in the room each time. You can decide the minutes that you're comfortable with. The idea is to comfort your child, be consistent, and allow your child to be able to soothe himself to sleep.

I do the same thing for his naps too. I make him a small bottle, turn on his mobile (which has stars and moons that project onto the ceiling), and feed him the bottle in the glider. He lets me know when he's done and then I put him down in his crib - awake - and he soothes himself to sleep. I leave the room.

Ricky was a poor sleeper til he turned 10 months. Now he can sleep through a tornado. It's great. I'm hoping Teddy will follow suit. I guess Ferberizing has been controversial - some people think that letting a child cry it out causes emotional scars. I hated listening to Teddy cry - and it made me, my husband, and Teddy himself lose sleep for a year. Now after a few nights, Teddy has learned to sleep on his own, and the family is well-rested. No regrets!

Sleep & My Latest Read

For once in several weeks, I actually feel well rested. It finally worked! After about 3 nights of hardcore putting Teddy down to bed after nursing, he is finally not crying and putting himself to sleep!!! yay! Thank god all the crying is over - it was driving us all nutts. He only got up twice last night to eat. Then again, I would burp him and rock him for about 5-10 minutes and then put him in his crib and leave the room. No crying. I could kiss Dr. Weissbluth's book. 

On the day to day front, we have a birthday party to go to at dinnertime and I still don't have a gift. It's raining here and I hate dragging the boys out in good weather, let alone crappy weather. My mom might be able to watch them during her lunchtime so I can go out and get a present quickly. 

I just finished a light read - kind of chick lit book called, "The Undomestic Goddess" by Sophie Kinsella. A librarian I work with recommended it to me. I had asked her for a book that was light, easy to read, and enjoyable. This book was exactly what this stay-at-home-mom needed to read. The book is about a high powered lawyer in London who is working her ass off to be partner and things happen and she ends up as a housekeeper. It's a nice story - and pretty funny. I could see a movie being made - like her Shopaholic book - which of course, I checked out of the library to read next. 

When do I read? When the boys nap, when Ricky is playing video games and ignoring me anyway, and any time I find myself on the couch - like 10 minutes after eating lunch or dinner, I'll read a few pages. I used to be *such* a bookworm my entire life and it's been really hard for me to keep up that hobby. 

Anyway, I'm going to steal 15 minutes now to watch more of an "L Word" episode now. I love that show, and no, you don't have to be a lesbian to relate. It's about a bunch of girlfriends. And yeah, they kiss and have sex once in a while but who cares. I totally recommend it. 

A Whole Lot of Rambling

Well, it's been a week and things are slightly better. I still need to nurse Teddy to sleep when I put him down for the night, but he still gets up 5 to 6 times a night screaming for me to nurse him again. Last night I was so tired and fed up by 3a.m. that I turned my monitor down and let him cry. I had already been in there every hour. This baby is so stubborn - if you let him cry, he will cry for HOURS and HOURS. It's heartbreaking and horrible to listen to because you feel so bad. He sounds like someone is murdering him - it's awful. 

Well I reserved the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" from the library because my copy is at the other house and I have to freaking clue where it is. If I get 3 hours of sleep straight, I feel golden - isn't that pathetic? Luckily Ricky can sleep through the bloodcurdling shrieks - I have no clue how this is possible. They are in separate rooms but next door to each other. 

Mark got a freelancing gig last week and it's for this week too. I am tempted to nurse to shush up Teddy all the more so he doesn't wake Mark. And poor Mark, I have been so freaking tired, that any other activities (wink wink) are on the backburner. 

As for nursing, I am on fenugreek but haven't been so good with the pumping. Teddy is a chunker - already wearing 12 months clothes and he's only 5 months old. So he's not starving...

Ricky finished his 3 year old preschool last week. They had an end of the school year picnic. The parents of the class  clown named Ryan - the worst behaved boy I have ever seen - was laying it on thick and asking me to have playdates with their son. I felt like a total asshole, but I said thanks but never said anything like Ryan is also welcome in our home, let's get together at the park this summer, here is my phone number, etc. I DO NOT want Ricky playing with him. Bad behavior feels contagious.... do you think that's totally overprotective?

I'm meeting 2 of my girlfriends for lunch tomorrow. Mark is working so I have to bring the boys. It will be great to see my buddies. One is married with 3 kids and the other is newly divorced with a boyfriend and has 2 kids. I've been friends with them for about 12 years. (shit has it been that long???)

Progress

I am very happy to report that Ricky has been improving = spending more hours in the night in his own bed instead of ours.

The first night was bad - he woke up at 12:30am crying and I spent an hour trying to get him to go back to sleep. Then he was up again at 4:30am asking to come into our bed and I gave up - and threw him in our bed. I was a zombie the whole day.

The second night he got up at 1am and he went back to bed after I spent half an hour with him. He was crying and whining that he wanted to go in our bed.

The third night (last night) he slept the entire night - but woke up at 5:30am. I threw him in our bed and we all continued sleeping til it was time to get up.

Not perfect but it's progress. I don't want to jinx myself, but I thought it would be a lot more painful than this.

Not sure this NaBloPoMo was a good idea for me. I already missed a day. I didn't even make it a week!

Accidental Co-Sleeping Hell

We have a huge problem. For the last 3 months or so, Ricky has been getting up in the middle of the night - usually between 12am and 2am, and yelling, "MOM-ee...mom-EEE??" over and over again, until I go to his room, pick him up, and bring him to our bed.

He has his own room and his own big boy bed. However, over the summer, Mark and I have been guilty of joining Ricky for his after-lunch nap and inviting him to share our bed. So much so that gradually Ricky has come to view our bed as *his* bed and has been expecting to come into our bed every night since. So this isn't partially our fault - it is completely our fault.

We have a queen size bed, so there's not a whole lot of room, and I typically lose - with only a few inches on the very edge to my name. Ricky is a swatter, kicker, and puncher in his sleep and I have awoken several times to believing someone was attacking me.

This really sucked over the weekend. I worked Saturday and am still sick and Mark did lots of work at my mom's house and was just tired. Ricky came in our bed at midnight and proceeded to whine and talk and would not go to sleep and this went on and on throughout the course of the night. Not only are we sleep-deprived but this has impacted reproductive chances. You can't have sex when your toddler is in bed with you and if you do, then you are a sick mf-er!!

We decided that enough is enough.

Last night, when Ricky called, I sat at his bed, stroked his head and back and stayed there for as long as I could until he fell asleep. I have to wait until he is in deep sleep, you see, because our hardwood floors are the creakiest things in the world. One loud creak and I am up shit's creek!!

I think we will have to purchase a gate for his room as well. Since he has a big boy bed, he can just waltz right into our room or go into any room in the house. There is a paranoid part of me that does worry about not being able to get to him in the event of a fire, but what is the difference if he were still in his crib like his other friends? This has to stop. I am so tired all the time!