Things have been pretty busy at home. We're getting the house ready to sell because we're moving this summer. Hopefully we'll be able to sell it even though the market is bad right now. We'll see.
Our immediate families and closest friends knew about our fertility treatment but I still hate dealing with questions from relatives who are gossipy. I was messing around playing Scramble on Facebook tonight and a second cousin (who is VERY gossipy) started instant messaging me and immediately asked if another baby was on the way. I chose to keep my conversation on our house selling and ignored the baby question - hoping she would think I didn't see it.
I know she probably means well - she is in her early twenties and probably doesn't realize that having a baby doesn't come easy to everyone. She does know I had a miscarriage last year so I kind of expected a little sensitivity. I just know that whatever I did tell her would end up in family conversations and the entire clan would know. No thanks.
When we do see the relatives this year - which is almost never - I am wondering if I should just lie and say we don't want any more children - just to get people to shut up. I guess I just don't want something that has been so difficult and painful to us to be part of the gossip.
Just like the universal code of manners and common decency says that it is impolite to bluntly ask how much money a person makes - I wish it would be considered impolite to ask people if they are going to have another baby or when is the next baby coming.
2 comments:
I agree with you on this one totally. My husband and I are not having children - not even adopting - but that isn't something that most of my relatives seem to be able to comprehend. When we are at family functions with extended family, they are constantly asking when we are starting our "family" and why haven't we started yet. It is truly none of their business if, when or why we do or do not procreate. It's difficult to tell an older relative it's none of their business though. It's like "thanks for the no-win situation."
I wouldn't tell anyone you don't want any more children though because if you ever do conceive, the gossipy part of your family will all be talking about how you didn't want your second and how it was unplanned. Sad, huh?
Maybe a "No - we're so busy with the first one!" and then leave it at that. Best of luck!
That would be nice wouldn't it if people just didn't go there about with the any more children qu? just like the how much money do you make qy? like you say.
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