Dealing with the Needs-Not-to-Know's

Things have been pretty busy at home. We're getting the house ready to sell because we're moving this summer. Hopefully we'll be able to sell it even though the market is bad right now. We'll see.

Our immediate families and closest friends knew about our fertility treatment but I still hate dealing with questions from relatives who are gossipy. I was messing around playing Scramble on Facebook tonight and a second cousin (who is VERY gossipy) started instant messaging me and immediately asked if another baby was on the way. I chose to keep my conversation on our house selling and ignored the baby question - hoping she would think I didn't see it.

I know she probably means well - she is in her early twenties and probably doesn't realize that having a baby doesn't come easy to everyone. She does know I had a miscarriage last year so I kind of expected a little sensitivity. I just know that whatever I did tell her would end up in family conversations and the entire clan would know. No thanks.

When we do see the relatives this year - which is almost never - I am wondering if I should just lie and say we don't want any more children - just to get people to shut up. I guess I just don't want something that has been so difficult and painful to us to be part of the gossip.

Just like the universal code of manners and common decency says that it is impolite to bluntly ask how much money a person makes - I wish it would be considered impolite to ask people if they are going to have another baby or when is the next baby coming.

But of Course!

Yesterday I got a call from a nurse from our fertility doctor's office. At first I thought she wanted to talk to me about how we dropped out - but no. Apparently, our fertility doctor resigned and is moving to New York City to be closer to his family - elderly parent(s) situation. I felt bad for him and wish him well. He seemed like a good guy and was a nice doctor for the few times I actually saw him in the flesh.

But of course, Mark and I had to chuckle, that this is yet again another brick wall. Maybe it's a sign. We'll keep trying for another child on our own and see what happens.